Friday, December 29

Iguana Has A Crisis

Tennessee Williams, The Sound and the Fury, Anita Morris. All these fascinations with things from the South, perhaps I should move down there some day to experience it all first hand. Then comes the question of where you would even move to.

It used to be an easy answer:

New Orleans

Now it was the only logical place. I think it's gotten much better since the hurricane. Isn't it funny how disconnected from the world I am sometimes?


Last night I went to Marie Crisis with a newly acquainted friend in the city. It's an institution in the city. Basically a piano bar that sings show tunes the entire night. Why wouldn't I love it? Well I did love it. A bunch of theater queens singing their drunk hearts away. Among the people I was introduced to, I met Edie, a rather famous drag queen, who was out of drag and very VERY funny.

I didn't realize I was in the presence of such fame until today, I am rather glad that I didn't gush.


So the thought of writing plays has been on my mind constantly. It's something that excites me, but as cliched as it sounds, scares me to no end. It's a mixture of inexperience, timidness and actually participating in something I love.

I'm not trained in play writing so that can mean two things in my opinion.
  1. I am an idiot savant of sorts and that I am great at it naturally or;
  2. I am awful and shouldn't try it now in my life.
I hope it's the former personally. I have a few ideas, we shall see where they lead out. I've already decided that this process cannot take overnight. It could be years in the perfecting, but why not start now. I have time.

I'll admit though I've already pictured getting my Tony Award and thinking about what I would say as my speech...

But that could be YEARS from now.

Thursday, December 28

Iguana Gets the Flu

Christmas is done, family time is done, my short stint at home is finished.

Returning home always leaves me feeling strange and upset in my mind. When I was younger I wanted to get out as fast as possible. Upstate was no place for a young gay male to grow up. I needed out as fast as possible. I needed to move to New York City where a gay male could blossom.

Blossom. Yea, sure in a special sort of way.

So regardless when I am home I always sort of miss it. It's where my family is, it's where everything I was raised is. I love the city don't get me wrong. I love theater and the opportunities I get while I am here. But since I was raised upstate and not 3000 miles away, I know that I could always visit. This entry isn't about my thoughts on the city though.

So yesterday I had to make my return home. It was nice to breath fresh air, to see my loved ones and to relax for a bit. Time moves slower there, I swear.

Then I got the flu on the bus ride home. What?! Why? Is it a sign? Am I meant to come back to the city? Is this a sign saying, remember all the shit that happened to you? Well you're coming back to the city AGAIN and it's not going to end!

So for three plus hours I was puking and other such things on the bus ride. Thank God it was dark, I must have been paler than a new moon, perhaps that's why I was glowing.

So I returned to the city feeling like absolute crap. Which only seemed appropriate I suppose. I did come home with Judy Garland's TV Show on DVD though. So I can't be defeated THAT easily.


Monday, December 25

Iguana Feliz Navidad

Being home for the holidays is always relaxing, and though my short five day visit will not allow me to see everyone I want, I get most of what I wish accomplished.

It's 9:30 am on Christmas morning and unlike other families we are waiting for my older brother to arrive to open presents at 10. I'm okay with that, but it's driving my younger sister nuts. We're an unconventional family of sorts.

For instance, unlike most families we don't go to church to celebrate Christ's birth. We do Christmas Eve in the most commercial way possible. We see a movie. Last night we decided to see, A Night at the Museum. Awful AWFUL movie. A prime example of a big star name and some high ups making up the worst storyline in the history of movies.

We were probably the only family there. Besides us it was Chinese, Jews and people on dates (probably Chinese or Jewish too). Not to seem racist...they just seem more typical to see a movie on Christmas Eve.

Even more away from the norm of Christmas. Most families would watch some Christmas tale together, like the Grinch, or It's A Wonderful Life. Being the amazing brother I am, I am taking my sister (not even a teenager yet, but almost in a month), to see Black Christmas.

It's hard being an agnostic family during these religious times of year. We're left having to find better things to do than go to church.

Saturday, December 23

Iguana is Home for the Holidays

Have a Holly Jolly Christmas? It's more relaxing back home than it is in NYC? Your parents love you?

Those are all statements that when I'm in the city I believe, but when I'm home for Christmas/Birthday/Visiting, I am completely dumbfounded as to how I believed them in the first place.

The good news is I have my tattoo appointment set up for tomorrow at 3 pm. The bad news is I had my mandatory uncomfortable chat with my parents about whatever topic is hot on their tongues at the time. Tonight it was my tuition fees and my upcoming trip to India/China.

I took it well and acted like an adult. Most of the time I am prone to screaming and turning insane around them. They're the only two human beings who bring that out in me.

I'll admit, at one point I grabbed my mother's face and cupped her head in between my hands (right before we entered a restaurant, no less) and stated dramatically:

"Don't you see, if you cut me off right now I would survive! You tell me that you want me to be independent, so when I say it's okay to cut me off, you get offended. I'm just restating what you've already told me!!"

Bernhardt/Duse eat your hearts out. I know drama.

Wednesday, December 20

Iguana Recovers His Senses

Sorry about that last post, my mind was in a different state. I need to take up new hobbies rather than always think about my loneliness.

In all truthfulness it's not that bad in general and I don't want anyone to think I'm some sad sap who just sits around saying woe is me whenever I can get an ear...

No I just write it down on this blog. Which is the equivalent of putting a message in a bottle and throwing it into the ocean, hoping to get a reply. But since we're on the topic of loneliness and my soon to be spinster life. Let's relay another tale...

This Halloween, while I was being, "Bare Rabbit." A costume that consisted of bunny ears, tail and jockstrap. I was hanging out with my straight friends, so why not set myself apart from them even more?

Along the way to my friend's I ran into an Ex that I had parted terms with a year ago, but not on horrible terms...just wasn't ready for a relationship at that time (the irony in this tale is already getting to me).

The entire night he kept gazing at me lovingly. Watching me, making nice comments. He is a sensitive soul and actually treats me like a gentleman...something I'm not used to. Anyway at the end of the night, he walked me to the door of my temporary apartment of the time. Kissed me goodnight, twice, and invited me to dinner once I'd moved to Brooklyn (which I am in now).

I kept thinking about him since that night and two nights ago, while I was dinning with a friend he was brought up in discussion and she pointed out,

"Maybe you need that gentleness in your life, it would be very different for you."

And I realized she was right. He was worth dating, I had grown much in the year since our split, and he was interesting and it seemed we got along. It would be perfect.

Once again I started picturing our future together. His sensitivity to my semi-melodrama. Him comforting me when I get worked up. My eccentric ways making him laugh. It would more than just a sexual relationship, and sex would actually never play a big role in our relationship (therefore making it perfect cause in the end sex ruins gay relationships).

Once again in my mind, it was going to be good.

Then I emailed him. I'm going to post the message as to show it wasn't an email that lead him to believe I was after anything...

I thought I sent you a message, but it seems I didn't. I was wondering why you weren't replying :).

I've been meaning to get in contact with you! But between getting settled in my rathole apartment and finals and the play I had to work on...I have been busy in short.

I would like to meet up, take you up on that dinner offer possibly. Sometime after Christmas maybe?

His reply, though lengthy made this strange point:

Just to clarify, I am going out with a dude named XXXX. He also goes to XXXX. He makes me feel guilty about talking to other young men.

Now granted he is a slight eccentric himself, but why did he feel the need to inform me of this before he could fall for me again? (upon seeing me of course). It's fate I suppose.

The luck of an Eccentric.

Monday, December 18

Iguana Says: Ignore Me When...

It's late, I'm tired but I'll go through with it anyway...

Why am I single? Why can my "Ex-Boyfriend" who is way worse than me, be telling me he has future plans and that he's tired of being a slut (when he turned me into the slut I was this summer, but I've recovered from...slightly)

No I've actually gotten much better. I really don't sleep around at ALL anymore.

I'll quote Lena from Singing in the Rain when I ask, "What's wrong with me?" Minus the nasally voice.

Men just want to sleep with me? I'm not even that easy...

Retraction...

I am not even that easy NOW. The only time I can meet men is in sexual situations it seems. If not then I don't meet men in general, and if I do...I won't even lie, I just don't.

Something needs to change...I don't know what, but something does!!

Okay the pathetic rant is done.

Sunday, December 17

Iguana Is Miserable

Tonight I saw Les Miserables as it is now being brought back to Broadway, like every revival known to man. Seriously in one square block you have: A Chorus Line, Company, Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Spamalot, The Producers and The Lion King. All of these shows have won best musical in different years and now they are ALL within one block of each other.

It's 50 degrees in December, six of the best musicals of the last 30 years are playing along side one another, and wait is that Cher riding in a Chariot of Fire? Okay now I'm convinced it's the Apocalypse.

In all sincerity I am happy that shows like A Chorus Line and Les Mis have been revived, so people like me can get a chance to see them. I got standing room tickets for both these shows and Les Mis pushed my ability to stand to the limit. When they sang One Day More, I thought they were giving a notice of how much longer the show was going to be, and I almost lost it.

This show is basically like the one that left Broadway 3 years ago. Nothing added except a mixed cast. I enjoyed everyone in it, sans poor Daphne Rubin Vega who BUTCHERED the beautiful song, I Dreamed a Dream. I don't know why she was cast in that, I've seen her in other shows and she's impressed me, but not this one.

What I enjoyed most was Eponine (I have a thing for those girls who love men who don't love them in return) I always relate to them. I must say though that Miss Saigon made me cry, while this show made me short of breath more than anything. It's enough when one person dies, but then you have one person dying after the next. In Miss Saigon, you hope so much for Kim's happy ending that will never come and for me it kills me inside.

But back to Eponine. Celia Keenan Bolger plays her, and not that I think she's ugly at all. But in the past you've always had prettier Eponine's than Cosettes. Eponine is the "sexy bad" girl to Cosette's "frigid spinster" look.

I mean how could Marius NOT be drawn to those doilies?

Bolger keeps it real, she has a great voice, Eponine's courage and just the right look for a girl who was raised on the wrong side of the tracks.



That's Right Celia: KEEPS IT REAL.

Friday, December 15

Iguana Watches with a Critical Eye

Now I'm not one for public Crucifixions, in Jesus Christ Superstar it is my least favorite scene, it's awkward and not entertaining on the eye. Though when someone does something that makes you uncomfortable and upset, I can sort of see why the people were so eager to crucify Jesus when it came down to it.

Bill Condon is my Jesus Christ. And I was him crucified. Not so much that I hate him, more that I hate that he has so much power and makes such foolish decisions. Not that the movie Dreamgirls was a bad movie, it was just conflicted at times.

Perhaps the most sacrilegious choice he made for me was cutting Ain't No Party, while adding other unnecessary songs in its place. For those of you who don't know, the character of Lorrell in the movie is a small, but wonderful character. Played by Loretta Devine in the original Broadway Show, Lorrell sings this song when she's had enough of her affair with a married man. It was a show stopper, so much that she was nominated for a Tony. When you cut out this song, the character of Lorrell becomes nothing REALLY important. She still have some clever lines, but compared to Effie and Deena, she might as well be like Michelle...who they gave more characterization to than Lorrell...

But I digress.

The reason he said Condon cut out this number, this amazing number, is because it didn't fit in with his vision of the film. This is where my question comes in.

What vision is that Bill?

Originally I had heard that like in Chicago, he was going to take all the numbers so they were on stage (just as they were in Roxy's mind). Which in the beginning of the movie he follows, even during Steppin' To the Bad Side it was still a number performed on stage. It was during Family where this "vision" of Bill's began to fade in my eyes. Suddenly Effie is singing in the dressing room and they aren't performing to anyone. So I don't see why she couldn't have her one song? And why did they add other unnecessary numbers? Listen and I Love You I Do are both good songs that I could see being added, but the other songs were MORE expendable than Ain't No Party.

With that aside...

I saw it again tonight. This time though I turned off my critical eye and watched it purely as a movie, not bringing in the Broadway show to compare. And all in all.

IT'S A GREAT MOVIE

Everyone was up to par, except perhaps Jamie Foxx, but he plays a sleaze bag asshole and he did it well. Jennifer Hudson, though new to movies and slightly nervous, did an amazing job. I admit I cried when she sang, And I Tell You I'm Not Going. If you can do that to me, than I love your performance. Beyonce was surprisingly great. Anika Noni Rose (the new Lorrell) is amazing, though under used. And Eddie Murphy is a great James Thunder Early.

It's an enjoyable movie amongst all the other movies nowadays that don't have this many redeemable features.


Wednesday, December 13

Iguana Must Move On

I need to take a new lover.

I am getting stress from my present one. Last night we had a long discussion about sex and the pros and cons of it. I find having sex with no REAL strings attached (as is the case with my current Gentleman Caller) really just ruins the idea of sex in general.

I used to hold sex as a sacred thing, that came when you felt something for someone. Now it's just a diversion, a thing to do on a Saturday afternoon. I mean this Friday I have plans to go to my Gentleman Caller's intentionally to have sex. Not for dinner, not for discussion (though sometimes those things DO happen), but for sex first before all else.

However, as vile as my soul may be I am keeping him close pure for the reason of when I have to move this spring, he will be an excellent resource to helping me out.

I lie that's not the PURE reason I am keeping him close. He has many redeeming features as Gentlemen Callers do. He's sexy, smart and funny. It's just a grim reminder that even stable men just view me as a sex object most of the time. Yet I always return into their arms.

Listening to the Flop musical Chess has SEVERAL songs that sing true to me life. A Tattoo from the show is very much in order.

Monday, December 11

Iguana is stoned

I finished working on a play for my college last night. It was an awful show, but in order to graduate I did wardrobe crew for it and had a blast. I got to know many people and feel like I was part of something for the first time at my college.

Everyone kept discussing the cast party on December 10th. I thought, "oh a cast party that should be fun!" So after the show ended I went home and did research for my next tattoo...[I'll talk about that later.]

Here was some of my reservations about going to the cast party. It was in the ghetto. In Bed-Stuy. Now that's a sketchy part of Brooklyn. It's not getting there that sucks, but getting home that's hard. They assured me they would have a phone number for a car so I said I'll go.

Everyone said to be there at 11 if you planned on drinking and such. So when I arrive at 11, the party had been going for hours. I was in time for the weed though.

My mistake was taking three long consecutive hits in a row. So within the hour I was stoned off my ass. It's a fun feeling to be stoned, but it's a different feeling to be stoned all night long. I don't know what I smoked, but lets say at 6 am this morning I was still feeling it.

It was fun up to a point. I hung out with a newly wedded girl from the play. I mean she's 23 and married to her first boyfriend!! It's a foreign concept to me to be be dating for longer than a year...let alone married to one man. So we got on the discussion of kinks...

My kinks: Leather, choking, aggressiveness, orgies, collars, jockstraps, etc.

To which she responds, "Sometimes he hits me with a belt." And I gave her a two thumbs up.

Friday, December 8

Iguana Looking for Utopia


Last night I saw part 2 of Tom Stoppard's The Coast of Utopia, which is titled Shipwreck.

All I can really say is: WOW, this series is intense and amazing. I am thrilled for part three (which I'll be seeing January 30th). What was so great about part two was that it went from being this huge epic, to a domestic drama, but still maintained it's integrity.

In the first part each scene was a different year, so a about ten years were covered, and in the second act it went back to the beginning and covered some missing spots from Act 1. The entire time you watched it you felt in awe of the monstrosity of this story and could tell that big things were to come to this cast of young Russian philosophers and revolutionaries.

In Part two though it had the same feel but added the humanity the first play missed out on. In part 2 Stoppard finally picks on character to focus on. Alexander Herzen and his family life. While in part 1, the Bakunin family, Michael's friends and many others were introduced in the show, it left you feel slightly lost. With four sisters (the Bakunin's actually numbered 8 children, but 4 sisters is enough), five young Russian thinkers and 32 other characters it was often hard to keep track, that and it seemed every ones name was Nicholas.

While in Part 2, there are still just as many characters, but only 5-7 are REALLY focused on this time. Alexander Herzen (who only had two scenes in the first show) suddenly becomes the amazing lead. He's smart, witty and an incredibly intelligent character that you can't help but appreciate. Brian F. O'Bryne does an amazing job and his interesting voice makes him easy to remember among the masses.

Alexander's wife, Natalie Herzen is a bud of sexuality and confusion that once again is amazing to watch unfold on stage. A woman who cherishes the idea of the past love her and her friends had, but knows that change is on the horizon and that frightens her. She seeks out the writing of George Sand who helps her see a different meaning to the word love, something that ends up causing more pain to those around her than she foresees. Jennifer Ehle handles this character superbly and the nativity that she possesses helps the audience not to hate her as she makes the choices that ultimately change her and her family's life.

As far as production values go, this show is still flawless. The scenery though sparse (I'm sorry but serfs holding branches to simulate trees, does not a full set make.) The ideas and concepts executed are exceptional though! In the first act there is a reenactment of the French Revolution (very Les Mis if you ask me) with the symbol of French Freedom waving the banner (Marianne, not Eponine). My favorite scene concept was the recreation of a famous Manet painting (once again very Sunday in the Park with George.) Including a fully nude Jennifer Ehle for all the audience to see. Bravo Ms. Ehle!!

It was ideas like this that keeps this show fresh and so interesting to watch. They are including everything of the time period, philosophy, art, literature, etc. I would not be surprised if one of these plays ends up nominated for several Tony's in June.

Thursday, December 7

Gay men and Eccentricities don't mix

Note to Self: Don't date guys my own age.

Now this isn't necessarily a surprise to me in general because in the last two months I've dated two guys my own age and if the first time wasn't note enough, this time was.

So this guy, M.G. and I agreed to meet up for dinner, wine and just to get to know each other. It was left ambiguous to being a REAL date because well it's easier to deal with it that way. I met him through none other than Manhunt, but he seemed liked he wanted to meet and not just fuck.

Being my usual self I had my mind all excited before the date. Something I need to learn not to do...it only ruins expectations. In my mind we would meet, he would see me and fall for me. He would offer to pay for dinner, we'd discuss issues I found interesting. Like Tennessee Williams, theater, old movies, video games and perhaps a little Marxist theory if we had the time.

We'd go back to his place and perhaps spend the night in a non-sexual way (kissing and touching is okay, but no sex...I long for a sexless date on the first date). Then after awhile of dating we'd decided to move in together and we'd have our shared and personal lives with no fights ever. We'd go out clubbing and do recreational drugs and have amazing sex. He'd fill me with reassurance about my life and I would provide a staple for his life as well.

We'd go on vacations together and later down the road we'd have a child (illegally or otherwise) and move out of NYC into a small town and grow old together.

All this was floating in my mind...and then I met him. M.G. was cute. He had PFV (Potential Fat Value though). You know those kind of people that look thinner than they are, but once they're naked you're like...oh where did all those love handles come from? Wait you have 4 chins...where were they hiding? Okay now I sound REALLY vain, I'm not, but for some reason, with my decent figure (I go to the gym A LOT) I always attract the guys with PFV, have three nipples that all lactate or what have you.

As I said, it really kills expectations. I try to lower them but apparently they aren't low enough?

Where was I?

So I meet him and he was cute, but when he opened his mouth is when I realized that this boy was...different. Now I'm eccentric. This kid was nuts.

Issues we covered in the "date":

- The boy he's dating that he really likes, but knows he's on a date with me.
My Response: Oh...DATE? This? More wine please.

- His ex-boyfriend who he dated for five years, who was much older and they bought a house together and he basically was his houseboy.
My Response: I'm...jealous...I haven't dated someone for more than...oh more Merlot, okay I guess!

- The fact he's homeless and has been sneaking into his old apartment with out his old roommates (who hate him) knowing.
My response: Oh I really enjoy this 3 dollar Trader Joe's Wine.

- How many guys he's been with, including oral and messing around in general. It was a hefty 31.
My Response: Oh, only 31? In four months I doubled that number...and I am not talking about messing around.

- He discussed how he feels that musical theater in the 80s is awful in comparison to nowadays with all the musicals being made from movies.
My Response: I WILL BURN YOU WITH MY CIGARETTE IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!

So that was the gist of the pretty failure of a date. Not only did he want me to know about this older man he really liked, but he invited me to hang out with the two of them this weekend.

Needless to say we planned another date in the future.

Tuesday, December 5

Starting Over

After some minor difficulties I have to start over with this blog. Which isn't bad considering that it's only had two posts (versues if I had 400 posts in it).

Since nothing exciting has happened recently I'm okay with all that's happened.

I promise starting today I will try to be entertaining.

I have a pesudo date tonight. I say pesudo because usually a date ends up with me, naked and in bed with this person, I call it a date, they call it something else.

To avoid this usual out come, I threw a curve ball by saying lets meet for dinner. Therefore there are no beds around to end up in. Unless we go to that place called Bed. Then I'm screwed.

*Note: Don't go to Bed tonight*

Another strange thing about this date is...he is my age. This strange because usually it's with an older man. The funny thing about older men is apparently the idea of a "Date" for them is as I have previously stated. I know as you get older subtleness dies...but sometimes it's ridiculous. More on the pesudo date tomorrow.

E. Iguana