The Gaymer

First, the time change has taken me for a surprise. Last night on the train I was making good time at getting home. Next thing I know it's 3 am and I'm horribly late. So needless to say I woke up to late to go to the gym. I am a little upset. Now, why I am more upset...

The Gaymer. A species that I once thought I belonged to. A gaymer for those of you who don't know is a gay man who plays video games. Excessively. I used to revel in the fact that I was one. I was subversive being a homo who played games! It was a defining feature of my life. "I'm gay and I played all of King's Quest growing up as a kid..." Does that ring a bell? Anyone...hello is this thing on? If I told someone that statement and they didn't understand then I knew there was no hope. If a guy didn't play video games...what was the point?

Then life set in. Not there is anything wrong with a gay man who plays video games. Actually it's still very cute. Correction, it's still very cute until last night. For you see last night I was invited to a midnight Gaymer release party of Super Smash Brothers Brawl for the Wii. There were several things wrong with this scenario: It was daylights savings and the game wasn't released until midnight, it was in Harlem and OH I've never played a Wii until a couple weeks ago!

So I have concluded (at least from the invited guests of this party) that there are two types of Gaymers. The incredibly hot ones and the mild ones. Gaymers have this intellect of uselessness that comes off as cocky, but utterly attractive. If it's a hot one, then it's even better. Along with this intellect also comes a condescending. Enter me.

I who have not half the video game powers I used to. I'm a veteran. I can remember the good times, but I believe the present has fallen on squalor. There has been a game able to make me feel motivated for years. So I enter this room of a mix of hot and mild. And now ladies an gentlemen I will begin to analyze...

Before I begin, life has give me a blessing. My blond hair. This is a lesser known fact, but I am sort of a method actor. When I enter a social situation when I know no one and I feel a little intimidated I rely on one thing and let it go where it takes me. Last night it took me father than I ever thought I could go. Being blond I can throw out some choice statements and instantly no one takes me seriously. I know it's abusing my intelligence, but I knew the rules of the game. I have developed a perfect blank stare and look of utter disbelief. If I tried to pretend I was up to date with the Wii or I knew what was going on they would have quickly caught on and rubbed it in harder. If they all felt less threatened, they'd embrace me. Even if only a little.

God, I feel like Jane Goodall.

The couple hosting the party were very gracious. There was one who was a little more intense, but I could tell from the look in his eyes he held a brutish demeanor but would crumble just as easily as the rest. Regardless, I liked him and his geekiness.

Then there was another couple. One thin as a stick and cute in that gaymer way. The other large (very) an not really social. I also noticed he didn't play video games that much either, from his lack of knowing how to play Mario Party 8. He hated me and the act I put up. I wanted to pull him aside and whisper, "Listen friend, I am on your side! Hate what you see, but don't hate me because after tonight we will share a bond larger than the two of us combined!" Yet, to break face would be disastrous. We've gotten through the couples...

Then there is the Hot Gaymers. Now they are what does it for me. If I played video games still I would probably be this. Well, duh. This particular one was defensive of me from the moment I entered the room. I noticed his quick looks and snide comments. I can handle him, with my mask on I didn't really care. Besides I wasn't in competition tonight, I was there as an observer.

Hot Gaymers of my age have something to prove. They want to be free and wild. Sleep with anyone they can, because they know where they stand! That's fine, really. But because they are used to competition through games they are equally competitive in the ways of the bedroom. Entering a room full of gay men is just like Pac-Man. Eat the fruit and gobble up anyone worth points. When I entered the room the game was on.

Yet the catch is Hot Gaymers are "friendly." They are so unsure of themselves that they have a belief that they must be every one's friend. They are nice and flirt with everyone. Not just one person, they want to make sure they have all venues open. Just in case one falls through. Speaking from personal experiencing, I learned that those kinds of people are the saddest. Always avoiding and never confronting, it's okay if some people dislike you. It really is.

I was fine with him until a second hot gaymer showed up. Now when you have more than one joined in battle, it's like Hyena's. They are sneakier than they seem. The second one was on the border of Gaymer and the border of Bitchy.

At this point I had already portrayed myself as the dumb blond so I couldn't go back on it. Of course we all know how blonds react when they are bombarded with bitchy comments. They take it like Jesus Christ did on the cross. So I pulled a Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf and got drunk. Or as Brick once said, "I looked for my click..."

It's funny that before coming there I was excited but felt a nagging on the back of my neck the entire day. Then I remembered what that nagging was...

Did Jane Goodall ever have to deal with a bitchy Gorilla?

Picture-A-Day #007

This is what my parents will see in less than an hour. Iguana's and Puffins.

Marilyn: An American Fable

I think it's time I try to tackle Marilyn: An American Fable. One of those flops that people wonder why? It wasn't given a full chance to become a legend like Carrie or Chess. It came and went and only was a hot topic in the year is came out. Like The Pirate Queen will be in several years.

I don't think there is any possible way I can describe this show. I shall try. Marilyn tells the story of Marilyn Monroe of course. Exactly as the title explains it's all a fable. The show opens with a little Norma Jean at her window wishing to be a star! Then suddenly these three random strangers in tuxes show up. They are Marilyn's Destiny guiding her. Yes, exactly. An unknown fact about Marilyn is that she had three spiritual guides that made her decisions for her. Damn that Destiny.

On top of that Marilyn spend the entire first act breathing overly heavy and bending over. I've only gotten through the first act, because it's difficult. It doesn't pick a time period to be in. It borders on rock and absurd. Quantum Leaps' Scott Backula makes his premiere as Joe DiMaggio. Marilyn leaves him when he says he wants her to be with him HERE! When he says that I couldn't figure out if he meant here with him. Or here in Dimaggio's, the restaurant owned by Joe.

Regardless Marilyn leaves him. Act II opened with Marilyn having a nightmare where Destiny (those unholy trinity) sing evilly about her bad choices. Which has little to do with her addiction to pills, but more with her lack of success.

Picture-A-Day #006

Picture-A-Day #005

I need to work on my facial poses.

The Night I Met Patti LuPone

Where do I go from here? Really. I've achieved a goal that I've always wanted. Do I have to stop discussing Patti LuPone? Obviously not, I suppose I should just tell the story.

To be honest of the three versions of Gypsy starring Patti I have seen (yes, I have seen three...it's a lonely life I live). This was my least favorite. At City Center you could forgive small things like poor sets and costume choices. They only had so much time. Yet, with a Broadway production, spend the extra money and just make a new set. The show was going for the idea that Vaudeville is dead. I understand that, but the hand painted backgrounds were not so amusing this time.

My friend hated the costumes, but I didn't mind so much. They used a lot of patterns on Patti and then for Rose's Turn, it was just a simple dress. It was sort of odd. I know, it's so as to not distract from her moment. Dainty June was amazing. I loved the spin she took on it, making June just plain angry at her life. She was unhappy every moment and it worked. Louise was great too, as was Herbie. Yet, I feel none of these roles changes much from City Center. Patti changed a little.

The energy of the show felt much lower than City Center. This is obvious since they went from just playing weekends, to eight shows a week. Obviously they're not going to give it their all on a Tuesday night during the second preview. Since I saw it closing night, I was a little let down. Patti cut down on the hamming. I'm sorry, but I love the hamming. Keep the hamming Patti. I know why you're not. You want that Tony Nomination (it would be wild if she won! Her chances are good. I will tell you more though when I see A Catered Affair and South Pacific).

I also met Allison Fraiser last night too. I should give it up for the original Trina who has guided me in my life for years. She was terrific as Tessie Tura. Actually the entire Gotta Get A Gimmick number is amazing! Marilyn Caskey, who plays Electra, for only have like 5 minutes in the show. Stands out amazingly! She reinvents an otherwise lifeless character and totally bitch slaps Jerome Robbin's Choreography. Which I laugh at, very much so.

Lastly, they are trying a different ending to the show. It just doesn't work. Yet, I am thrilled that I got to finally see a different take on Gypsy. Even if it fell a little flat. Yet again when it's been the same for years, new things always seem odd. Patti's Rose's Turn was a little nutty, but I still loved it. She played it as Rose was having a complete breakdown and it was interesting. I like the idea of Rose losing her mind, because Rose says herself, she never had the talent. Why suddenly would she have this great talent. She's battling off her demons while trying to believe that she is talented.

Now meeting Patti. It took a long while and I had my pillow all ready. I had Camino Real all set on camera mode. It was 11 pm when the show ended. Patti didn't come out until 12:30. While we waited, my friend and I spent time making lewd comments. Yes, we are that kind of people. Comments about how Patti sleeps upside down in the theater hanging off the Rose Sign. I love Patti, true, but anyone who keeps me waiting for that long gets made fun of.

Yes, I know that's enough to make me hate anyone. It was how she appeared that was grand. Around 12:29 everyone goes silent (the had always turned off the marquee lights) and we hear voices coming down the hall singing, Give My Regards to Broadway and out emerges Patti and several of her friends.

Patti announces that she's been drinking. Be it a joke or serious was everything I pictured! She started signing autographs and treating everyone equally, making small talk. She then lead us in another chorus of Give My Regards and when she found some people who had a birthday she lead us in a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday.

My moment to connect with Patti was ruined when the woman before me took Patti and whispered some deep dark secret into her ear. She was shaking! I believe she was telling Patti she had Cervical Cancer and hearing Rose's Turn put her Cancer into remission. So when Patti came to me I was going to tell her a dark secret to keep the theme, but I figured my pillow was enough.

She admired the pillow and I had a starstruck moment where I don't remember much, except she asked what should she write. My mind went blank and all I could say was, "Don't Cry For Me Craig." Oh Jesus. We live and learn don't we? Well it's a clever little message because during these trying times, I haven't been crying much. So it was just restating my life. She then gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Thus a dream has been completed and I now own a pillow. I made. That Patti LuPone has signed. Yes, I am officially one of those PEOPLE.

Time for a game:



Watch the following Youtube video this kid took last night and see if you can: A. Spot me holding my pillow (watch carefully) and B. Spot how drunk Patti may or may not be...Good luck!

Picture-A-Day #004

This is what I look like when I just wake up and I am all bug-eyed.

Bonus:
This is Patti LuPone spelling out my name. Yea, that's right.

Picture-A-Day #003

I've decided to put up a photo a day of myself. 365 days of Iguaua. Call it vain, but it's more a social experiment. When I find out in what I'll let you know.

Room Tour

With my iPhone, which I will now refer to as Camino Real, I took a little picture tour of my room so you can see the small space in which I live.

My desk that I always type these wonderfully informative entries on...

My bookshelf filled with plays and random book. Notice the Friendlies from China, resting on top of my row of Playbills.

The trash bag that serves as a garbage can. The plastic container that serves as a nightstand. The bed that I "sleep" in sometimes when I'm not awake.

Me, with my new haircut. And just so you know what I look like right now.

Another Sunday

A picture of me on my new iPhone - Camino Real

Just a Sunday. Any other Sunday really. I have an iPhone, but I am at a bit loss of what to do with it. I have my first cell phone/laptop thing/camera/ipod/etc. My area code is the original Brooklyn too. That's something to be proud of.

Strangely performing actions like this, like getting a cell phone that solidifies my permanence on this earth. It terrifies me. I'm leaving my mark, even in the smallest amount. There is a cell phone bill that people could use to begin to learn about what I did here. It sounds strange I suppose. Yet, my mind works in strange ways now.

I had a sit down chat with a friend today. This was difficult for me because I love this friend immensely. It's the same as telling The Tall Man. He was shocked and didn't know what to say. I told him (as I tell so many others) that is there nothing I am looking to hear. I didn't expect the news to shake me so much. It feels odd telling myself that it's okay to be confused. Life doesn't need to be summed up all the time. Life moves strangely for everyone.

A year can flow by, or seven. And it will affect everyone differently. Today while telling my friend I saw a look in his eye. I saw him seeing me, seeing my future and it chilled me. He saw me sick, he saw me alone, he saw me...Chills I say.

Time can move so strangely, but we allow it. We try to race time, we try to overcome time. Apply to grad school directly because you won't do it later in life. Get a job right out of school. Make a salary. Who says that is what it should all amount to? Thinking these thoughts tires me.