AIDS Walk – 2008

(Tis true, I do smile sometimes!)

I awoke at 6 AM, as if I were waking on Christmas morning. It was odd, also it was a glorious sunny day. I went to bed early and woke up earlier than I thought I would. I got ready and got a Bacon, Egg and Cheese on a bagel. It was delicious. There was a moment when walking to the subway that I started to feel tension.

This wasn't a walk just for a good cause anymore, like it was two years ago. The walk for me officially began February 21st. How utterly dramatic. Anyway, I swallowed that nervousness and got on the train. It was a celebration of how far we've come. That back in 1984, thousands had died and no one was even paying attention. To walk is to experience that energy.

Walks and social events are so liberating. How someone can go to something like this, purely for the energy of the people there, and then leave knowing that there are people who still care. It was terrific to see friends that I have made come together. To know that I have made new and older friends that I feel happy with. That I am gaining memories and moments.

I feel that I can possibly be cared for. It makes me happy. If only I could have these moments all the time. Walking in on a Sunday, with people who make me feel comfortable, through a sunny park, down old streets, people together, pit stops of free snacks all. Laughter so you never have to frown again.

(Showing off the tote bag. We are Team 'Mo. I don't always stand with bend in my leg.)

Then there is the downside. I'm a nervous twit. I am the self conscious one in life. I say things without filtering sometimes. I talk not to be heard, but just to put words in the open. I have gone through trying times and simply have lost my way in the world of sense. This is not a bad thing. People seem to endure it.

And for the first time ever, for the four of you. I have captured a moment of this on video. So you can see me in one of these non-logical moments: