Kiss of the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Before I go home this weekend, I MUST give my review of Kiss of the Spider Woman that I saw tonight in Chelsea...

How can I begin to explain Kiss of the Spider Woman...I can't honestly, I can't. I'll try. I mean if you want to go see it, good for you. The only reason we stayed was cause my friend had an old classmate in it.

They certainly put a "new" spin on it. It's very dark or tries to be. They utilize the whole space, the cell is a platform on wheels that they push around. Everyone sings flat and they "updated" Kander and Ebb's score with synthesized music. Gimme Love...OMG. It was basically Madonna's Erotica Video. I can't begin to explain it, but I'll solider on...

But here's what was hilarious about the show. Apparently Chita's (and Vanessa I suppose) star power is SO great that they decided to cast three people as the Spider Woman. Turning Aurora into every woman...well not exactly. Apparently Aurora was a small Latino girl, a tall black homosexual and another bleach blond homosexual who looked a lot like a mix between Rocky and Eddie Izzard. Not only that, the costumes were directly out of the last revival of Rocky Horror. Bodice's and high heels for ALL!

The tall black man sings Where You Are as Eartha Kitt would have but, more nasal and less hair. I Do Miracles is sung by Eddie but MY GOD! The part where Aurora and Marta sing together...was...well, I was laughing hysterically. Then Gimme Love was the Latino girl's Erotica number, including her squatting down sexily...over the toilet in the cell. I'm sorry but certain poses over certain objects can give you weird images in your mind.

BUT...

The show stopper was of course The Kiss of the Spider Woman where all three came out to sing. One flat, one off key and one completely missing the point all together. Eddie's sequin tale dragged and made this horrible noise throughout the show. If can't get worse, right? Oh but it did. Not only did they sing in their unlikely trio. They wrapped strings of Christmas lights around themselves. But they did this as they opened the number and the fact the lights were hooked up to extension cords only made it not only look awkward, you felt strange watching them do it.

Then as they walked out to sing more, in the only ways they knew how. Some problems were to be had. Eddie could only get so far on his extension cord and almost kept walking without his lights. While Eartha's lights seemed to go haywire during his solo and started to flicker on their own. Perhaps it was his electric voice that just fried the wiring. Latino was smart and stayed as close to the back as possible and sort of just skipped around. I have never laughed so hard in my life.

When I said I've always wanted to see a production of this show...I knew I should have been more specific in my hoping. You win some, you lose some.

Iguana Isn't Sure

Something tells me the Margaret Garner that I saw tonight at the NYC Opera, with The Gentleman Caller, will not become a household name. I mean it is a modern Medea tale. Then again what story isn't nowadays? I did get to see Toni Morrison in person. The only thing I could really ever say to her is, "Thank you for writing The Color Purple...because without it we wouldn't have the amazing movie and the interesting musical." Which would give her every right to slap me.

It had some decent orchestrations and Morrison reminded me of Handel...you know...she kept repeating the same line over and over again. It just failed to excite me. The lead never got a chance to really sing. In an Opera the lead woman (of who the opera is about) should have a "alone on the stage balls out this is MY show" song. Like Butterfly or Tosca have. It shows you who owns the stage. Yet, she had none really. The Plantation owner got two of those numbers and he bored me to tears.

What sort of annoyed me most of all was the fact that Garner wasn't hanged for killing her children. She died of Typhoid Fever. Why add a trial and a hanging scene? I know for dramatic effect, but it just seems ridiculous.

The boy who played her son (who was probably only like 6 or 7) he played the BEST dead body I've EVER seen...EVER!

And I've seen a lot of dead bodies.

It's good to see brand new works, so in that I'm happy. Plus it means that the Opera season has started. I just need to pick and choose wisely.

Kiss of The Spider Woman...AMAZING book. I am more than half way done and tomorrow and Thursday I plan on finishing it before the show.

I've discussed the Gentleman Caller enough this past week so I am going to forgo and thoughts on him tonight....

Three days off starting tomorrow (today) and hopefully going home this Friday/Saturday and laying my hands on my passport...Haircut tomorrow. Boring day, not much to report.

Amazing update on the normal life though! I "dumpster dived" and got a two drawer dresser and a small table...for the first time in over a year...I lie to you not. I have put my clothes away officially! They are in drawers! My room as suddenly expanded immensely. It's like I live in a palace now! Oh my! You don't know what this feeling is like.

It was so liberating, coming home at midnight. Seeing the furniture on the side of the street on the walk home. Going home and changing into normal clothes. Going back out, in shorts, a T-shirt and flip flops. I walked down the block and proved that I am actually VERY strong as I carried the heavy dresser back to my room. There was sweat, buckets of sweat. Some teats...almost. Then a lot of cleaning with antiseptic wipes. Much of that. After finishing I smiled. Sure the drawers are a little iffy and broken (they do work though), but I did it...on my own.

Here in Grey Gardens...