I'm going to just voice some thoughts. It's more just to get them out of my head because they are not worth dwelling on. It's not necessarily worth doing, but since I began to read The Velvet Rage. Which I love and hate my Australian friend for sending me.
It's a self-help book isn't it? Oh it's going to make me question myself! Damn you! To hell! Yet, it won't be a bad thing, it'll be nice to know. It's already helped my mindset in realizing that I suffer from this alleged Velvet Rage. All homosexual men do, but I seeing that.
As for my current and temporary frustration. It's one thing to have 4 cases of the same incident happen. I think one would variably notice the reoccurring themes, as I do too. Tra-la! It's okay, people seem to spend a couple of nights with me and they realize they never want to end up alone.
So they date someone else.
It's okay, I have terrific friends. So that allows me to keep my figure and I have more emotional love than I can handle. It's this God Damned Velvet Rage. Pointing out these issues, I need to finish this book so I can know there are solutions. I can't deal if there is no solutions!
May The Vespa-Rider live long and happily with his boyfriend. I wish them well and I made a delicious dinner tonight. My nervous energy went into a meal and this delightful little dinner was created from it.
I also slammed my right fist repeatedly against the wall and cupboards several times. Not to any sort of harm that is lasting and I know and respect that it's not "healthy." I am identifying with this Velvet Rage. That's why I need to read to the end of this book.
Showing posts with label Vesparider. shyGuy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vesparider. shyGuy. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 6
Tuesday, March 17
Group Session: The 12 Days of Judy
Group was more calm last night. It was a slightly progressive night for life outside the group. I fear I was the catalyst. If I'd never worn those skinny jeans on Saturday and not felt so damned powerful in them! I would've never hung out with The Prince, who is a guy my age who has a rich older boyfriend.
His boyfriend apparently is ridiculously rich and owns buildings, helicopters and Egyptian Cats! He is kept in an ivory tower. He lives a dream life that I can't help envy and I feel such sadness for. I wanted to go out and he was the first one to answer my text. If I'd never gone out, he would have never invited me to dinner before group and we'd never have had that screwdriver!
How do I break these rules? One screwdriver to me is a calming way into social situations, despite the rule of not being on any substances that can mess up your judgement, or some crap like that [Rules wouldn't be made unless they wanted us to break them]. Well, The Prince has one screwdriver and is singing show tunes and hitting high C sharps! In turn by the end of group he invited everyone out to get more drinks. Do you see where this story is going? No, well just hang on for a moment longer.
The ShyGuy ran away. The Vespa-Rider peaced out quickly too. Leaving me to get to know newer personalities, in a friendly atmosphere. At one point during the night I was talking to a guy who said that the bar he was working at was hiring bar backs [not bareback] for the summer. I may have my in, which means the universe works in weird ways. You put out what you get back. I don't know, time shall tell. Maybe, I don't need a suit just yet.
The highlight of the night was when another soft spoken member brought up how Judy Garland was his patron saint. I quickly showed him my mark of Judy. He then told me of his 12 Days of Judy celebration! Since Judy was born on June 10th and died on June 22nd. There's twelve days to celebrate her existence!
Her story is similar to that of the Christ figure. She was born Francis Gumm and was reborn into Judy Garland. She died prematurely and will rise again. It's adorably cute, this idea the man created. I am glad that these two things have happened, as silly as they are.
His boyfriend apparently is ridiculously rich and owns buildings, helicopters and Egyptian Cats! He is kept in an ivory tower. He lives a dream life that I can't help envy and I feel such sadness for. I wanted to go out and he was the first one to answer my text. If I'd never gone out, he would have never invited me to dinner before group and we'd never have had that screwdriver!
How do I break these rules? One screwdriver to me is a calming way into social situations, despite the rule of not being on any substances that can mess up your judgement, or some crap like that [Rules wouldn't be made unless they wanted us to break them]. Well, The Prince has one screwdriver and is singing show tunes and hitting high C sharps! In turn by the end of group he invited everyone out to get more drinks. Do you see where this story is going? No, well just hang on for a moment longer.
The ShyGuy ran away. The Vespa-Rider peaced out quickly too. Leaving me to get to know newer personalities, in a friendly atmosphere. At one point during the night I was talking to a guy who said that the bar he was working at was hiring bar backs [not bareback] for the summer. I may have my in, which means the universe works in weird ways. You put out what you get back. I don't know, time shall tell. Maybe, I don't need a suit just yet.
The highlight of the night was when another soft spoken member brought up how Judy Garland was his patron saint. I quickly showed him my mark of Judy. He then told me of his 12 Days of Judy celebration! Since Judy was born on June 10th and died on June 22nd. There's twelve days to celebrate her existence!
Her story is similar to that of the Christ figure. She was born Francis Gumm and was reborn into Judy Garland. She died prematurely and will rise again. It's adorably cute, this idea the man created. I am glad that these two things have happened, as silly as they are.
Thursday, February 26
The Legend of the Piggie Who Kept Tales Hidden
There once was a little piggie who met three creatures simultaneously and through a series of paradoxes. Yet, each one had a different relationship with the piglet.
The first rode a Vespa and liked to take the piggie out on dates. He would text a little more than the pig was used to, but he appreciated it nonetheless. The Vespa-rider would find ways to spend the night and sneak into the piggie's room to cuddle and kiss and . . . pet. Both had made promises not to do anymore than "kiss and pet and cuddle." For if they did they'd be breaking the rules and the piglet wanted to follow the rules. His constitution was still weak and the piggie enjoyed cuddling ever so much.
The second was the piglet's neighbor. The piggie was attracted to his Neighbor, but he was in a relationship. The principles of this relationship were built on sparkles, glue and fairies wings and now the piggie's neighbor lusted after him.
The pig had met his Neighbor on the street one day and they decided to have dinner together. The piglet knew his neighbor's intentions and the pig loved to have his tummy's rubbed. The Neighbor would send lovingly text messages that declared:
The piggie was touched and it made him chuckle. However, he didn't enjoy being the third "pig in a blanket" if you will. His constitution was getting a little better, but he was still prone to taking a roll in the mud every now and then.
The third was a ShyGuy who was so tall that his head often hit the clouds. The ShyGuy was as tame as a soft wind. He had a nervous twitch of biting his nails in a way that almost seemed painful. He would stare off into space and stutter, rarely making direct eye contact. It was difficult to see into his eyes since his head rested in near clumulus formations.
The pig liked this ShyGuy both emotionally and physically. The ShyGuy shared a similar past with the oinker. The piglet took a liking to him because it was nice to have a person around who made him snort less. Sometimes there would be awkward moments, like when the piggie was leaving and he received two consecutive pecks on the lips from the Guy.
The piggie knew better than to dig for truffles and just wanted to remain friends. The next time he saw the ShyGuy, the piggie was in a hurry and absentmindedly [in all seriousness] pecked the ShyGuy on the lips again! Later that night the ShyGuy came calling on the piggie for dinner. To take out, not to eat.
These gestures made the piglet get all pink and Rosy. Yet, he knew that he would rather be respectful of this one. The piggie had didn't know where this one was going, but was steering towards friendship. He was still learning to control himself.
So here was one little pig, with three different creatures involving themselves into his life. The Pig was content with the current relationships, but had a feeling some would change or evolve soon. Until then, he was going to maintain them and follow where each one lead.
The End.
The first rode a Vespa and liked to take the piggie out on dates. He would text a little more than the pig was used to, but he appreciated it nonetheless. The Vespa-rider would find ways to spend the night and sneak into the piggie's room to cuddle and kiss and . . . pet. Both had made promises not to do anymore than "kiss and pet and cuddle." For if they did they'd be breaking the rules and the piglet wanted to follow the rules. His constitution was still weak and the piggie enjoyed cuddling ever so much.
The second was the piglet's neighbor. The piggie was attracted to his Neighbor, but he was in a relationship. The principles of this relationship were built on sparkles, glue and fairies wings and now the piggie's neighbor lusted after him.
The pig had met his Neighbor on the street one day and they decided to have dinner together. The piglet knew his neighbor's intentions and the pig loved to have his tummy's rubbed. The Neighbor would send lovingly text messages that declared:
I am home early from work and would love to fuck you right now.
The piggie was touched and it made him chuckle. However, he didn't enjoy being the third "pig in a blanket" if you will. His constitution was getting a little better, but he was still prone to taking a roll in the mud every now and then.
The third was a ShyGuy who was so tall that his head often hit the clouds. The ShyGuy was as tame as a soft wind. He had a nervous twitch of biting his nails in a way that almost seemed painful. He would stare off into space and stutter, rarely making direct eye contact. It was difficult to see into his eyes since his head rested in near clumulus formations.
The pig liked this ShyGuy both emotionally and physically. The ShyGuy shared a similar past with the oinker. The piglet took a liking to him because it was nice to have a person around who made him snort less. Sometimes there would be awkward moments, like when the piggie was leaving and he received two consecutive pecks on the lips from the Guy.
The piggie knew better than to dig for truffles and just wanted to remain friends. The next time he saw the ShyGuy, the piggie was in a hurry and absentmindedly [in all seriousness] pecked the ShyGuy on the lips again! Later that night the ShyGuy came calling on the piggie for dinner. To take out, not to eat.
These gestures made the piglet get all pink and Rosy. Yet, he knew that he would rather be respectful of this one. The piggie had didn't know where this one was going, but was steering towards friendship. He was still learning to control himself.
So here was one little pig, with three different creatures involving themselves into his life. The Pig was content with the current relationships, but had a feeling some would change or evolve soon. Until then, he was going to maintain them and follow where each one lead.
The End.
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