Saturday, March 13

Rainy Nights and Days

It's been raining all night and day. It's been aggravating and has forced me to stay inside for most of the night. I've been stir crazy and watching episodes of The Office and playing video games. I feel like I've taken a vow of silence, there is no one around. Except Bumble, who doesn't make much conversation.

The days have been filled with confusion and a fear of the future. In a recent play I saw there was a line that was said, "Life is full of pain, but it's up to you if you want to do the suffering." In the mediocre show, this line was sappy, but appreciated. Especially when it was spoken by Tallulah Bankhead by way of Valerie Harper. That's how I have been feeling life is right now, full of painful moments. Though I'm trying valiantly not to suffer to much.

I talked with The Construction Worker about my fears about myself. I am trying to accept the fact that I've met a man who has my best interests in mind. It felt slightly pitiful to realize all these fears are in my head. I have such a difficult time articulating myself. I fear for my apartment situation. I fear for my financial future. I fear for a lot of things.

Which way is home?

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