Hopes Up and Go

These days of leisure couldn't be more filled with nothing. Yet, it always seems like I am trying to accomplish something. If I wasn't, I wouldn't have ridden my bike over the Brooklyn Bridge multiple times this week.

I was traveling for some reason. Perhaps it was just to save money, or to get exercise, to cleanse my mind. When I ride my bike there are thoughts that I have at my disposal that I normally feel I wouldn't. Feelings of raw emotion. The wind blowing into your eyes and making them water. You are listening to a song on your iPod and wondering: is it the wind or the song that makes me want to weep? or is it the simple fallacy that I experiencing a real moment in this bike ride. Being in the here and now. I am actively moving towards nothing. Towards something that I can't for tell and never knew was going to happen.

I weep. I feel tears falling down my face as I peddle across the bridge. Tourists get in the way and I want to run them down. The lanes are clearly separated, but they insist on standing in my biking lane. This brings me out of my reverie and dreams. My pathos have been haulted.

I am trying to keep a demeanor of optomism, but with these lack of callbacks and third interviews. You hear of people who are moving away. Even the Israeli is moving back there. He's failed and I love it.

New York City harbors the residence who can make it. People who leave it are banished, never to return. They couldn't figured out the game that is play. I sometimes wonder if I've yet to figure out this game. I've met enough people, but the game aspect of it seems so odd. What rules am I playing well?

Rant done.