An Ending Drama

Today has been a strange, but mildly optimistic day. I started it off with another interview at a temp agency. This one was bustling with people and more than the place I went to. My coordinator/guru/giver-of-jobs looked at my resume and asked, "Well, the question is what do you wanna do with your life?" The man was round, shaped like a boulder and had a red face. He looked like he was filled with possibilities to the point of bursting.

He then proceeded to go through my resume and make changes. Move this here, take this out, the title of "financial printer" is a dead term to him. I was a project assistant. I then took tests for my skills at know Microsoft Office programs. I scored 28 out of 30s. I can only type 52 WPM, we call that speed typing in the business.

My round sage lead me around and introduced me to a woman who looked like Barbara Walsh in the revival of Company. A man out of a Mamet play and a woman who offered me a chance at working at the US Open in Queens some August. Just like that! I stuttered and asked her if she was an illusion.

My shoes, they give me pointed toes. I look like the devil come down to Georgia with them on.

From the Temp Agency I went to the GMHC to get my free lunch. I stripped off my work shirt and wore a tank top. I seem to be into this idea of being trashy, but I don't think I look ridiculous. A man then asked me if Anita Morris presided on my arm, the discussion began and I smiled. Piano music played in the background, something by Gershwin.

I went to a second job search and met the opposite of my round wizard! A small black lady, but with lots of sass. She seems to be new to social work and wants to do good for all. It's a positive match.

I moved on to the YMCA and saw the cute trainer naked in the locker room. It's the little things in life these days. I think that's a good sign too, I'm hoping at least. I went to therapy and spoke of something that I have been milling about in my mind. I'm not ready to open it up to the world yet.

Then I returned home and listened to some Barbara Cook and played some Dead Space. Those things don't necessarily go together.

All I Ever Wanted...

Friday night and a bedtime like 11 pm? Tomorrow I plan on being up early, so it's not unreasonable. Just going to bed so early on a Friday night seems to Spinster-esque. I want to be up early for HAIR tickets. If I get there at 6:30/7 am and the line is ridiculous I will turn home and go back to bed...I just don't want to say I didn't try...

Before I go to bed I'd like to post a song I have lived my life by and if I ever have to sing ONE song that describes me this would be is.

Stupid Things I Won't Do by William Finn

Reading papers when there ain't a review
is a stupid thing. And I won't do it.
When I read I wanna read something new,
why read anything at all?

Wars will always happen, there's always strife.
But opening a show just happens one time in it's life!
And that's why reading papers when there ain't a review,
stupid thing I won't do...

Now you can grill me, you can kill me!
You can cuff me on the air, I still won't do it.
You can boo me, you can shoot me!
But that's not a thing, that I will do.
Man may laugh and women may chortle.
But there's a reason I'm immortal.
Reading rags when there ain't a review...stupid thing.

And another thing, while we're on the subject...

Making movies...Hollywood.
Stupid thing. I won't do it!
Bet your booty's I'd be GOD damned good,
but that's a game that I will play!
I'm a seasoned actor, I don't skate or dive!
The only rolls, I want are rolls that
I'm performing live and in person!
Making movies in Hollywood...
Stupid thing I won't do!

No, no, no!
You can kill me, you can bill me!
You can NAIL me to the wall,
I still won't do it!
You can maim me, or defame me!
But there's certain things I won't per sure!
I've ach-ieved my awesome potential,
by focusing on what's essential...
And making movies...in Hollywood..
Stupid thing I won't do...

Living life like a NORMAL PERSON!
STUPID THING, I won't do it!
After five minutes as a NORMAL PERSON!
You can lock me in a mental ward and THROW AWAY THE KEY!!!
Though I live with passion, joy and RAGE!
The only time I feel alive is when I'm on the stage!
That's why LIVING LIVE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!
IS A STUPID THING THAT I WON'T DO!!

NO, NO, NO!
I need theatre, I want THEATRE!
It's the food that I eat,
EIGHT TIMES A WEEK!
GOD BLESS THEATRE,
life is weirder!
Maybe not, but who's to say?

What-could-be-more
prim and officious,
than cleaning floors or washing dishes?
Good for them! Who can do those things!
But they're not the things I can DO!

NO, NO, NO!

GOOD FOR THEM!!
WHO CAN DO THOSE THINGS!
BUT THEY'RE NOT THE THINGS THAT I CAN...
do-da-do-da-do-do-do-do...

Those are things, that I can't...

Never have and never will,
be able to do.

Why do I find solace in this song??