A Revision In The Text

Let this weekend of 2008 be known as the best release from college. The friends have been terrific and the foes have been minimal. Creeping slowly through these times, it's nice to finally be learning how to release tension.

I have been to several parties this weekend. It's been celebratory, as if we had all made it through some great despair together. Last night we hung out and we sat and we stayed together. Until 5 AM! This feat is not an easy task to accomplish, especially without artificial stimulants.

We all value the presence of one another. Two years ago I saw these friends and felt left out, I know that I don't feel that anymore. I felt inside as if in their company I feel loved, I feel wanted. Those on the outside can see what they want, I know what I feel.

Tomorrow is another day much like this. I am allowing it and it feels great.

Happy Day

I guess we should start with an epilogue to China. The ins and outs resolved and explained fully. China will forever remain in my mind. It was a long journey. A month was almost (and I say almost) a little more than I bargained for. I hung out with straight men for a majority of the trip. That experience alone is made for it's own intercultural studies.

With the trip complete, of course that means back to real life, right? Correct. What does that entail? We shall find out. First off, my first moments home was spent with The Tall Man. Two days I spent in his arms, kissing, hugging, cuddling. Anything you can think of. We saw Cloverfield together and slept until noon.

Due to my past experiences I should not feel smitten. I should take it at face value, then why does face value feel like attraction to me. Granted we are both sexually, very sexually, attracted to each other. The constant kissing, the hugging, the touching. It's puppy love, right?

That aside, I cannot keep focusing on it. Regardless of how clear it's already been stated, I am highly attracted to this man. I am also a small fool as I always feel with my heart and not my mind. We will let things develop and continue as they are bound to be developing soon.

While in the company of The Tall Man...

Work called. Which brings me to the next item in my mind, quitting. I will be telling them May 1st, I am thru. When my boss surprised me with a call asking me, "Are you back? How was it?" I rambled on a bit thinking, "That's sweet...they care." Which was immediately replaced with utter silliness when they asked me to come into work this Sunday...

I've been home for less than a day really and you're already playing this game?

So I will tell them, Wednesday. The Tall Man laughed at me and for a moment and tried to tell me I was making a wrong choice in leaving it. I almost cracked. It's a good idea, that's all. No discussion, none at all. Therapy has helped me with the justification of my issues.

Then I saw Happy Days at BAM. After reading it, I was amazed even more by Beckett. Then I saw this production and it's become one of my all time favorite plays. So well done. Fiona Shaw was phenomenal. How a head in sand could draw my direct attention is beyond me. Bravo, Beckett and brava, Fiona.

Finals Thoughts

In the midst of Finals I am taking a small break to write a quick entry. The Patti LuPone Pillow drama, I will not allow it to defeat me. I couldn't find it, for it is TRULY lost. I will get the INC and go on with my life as it was meant to be. That's the best I can do. Granted I had my usual insomnia attack, but I overcame.

Insomnia is more cracked up than people make it seem. When I can't sleep I feel oh so stressed it's true. Then for a moment I realize I'm in some sort of elite percentage. Fie on those who sleep soundly. It just makes you feel much more unique than those who pretend their lives aren't without strife.

In my finals and trying to plan theater for my return to the states. Oh listen to me, talking like a world traveler already. Anyway, I am thrilled because I will be seeing Happy Days by Beckett at BAM, starring Fiona Shaw, also know as Aunt Petunia from the Harry Potter movies. For those of you who don't know the play is basically a long monologue performed by a woman who in the first act is buried up to her waist in sand. Then the second act she's buried up to her head in sand. I've always wanted to see a production of it.


I just bought Beckett's collection of plays. So I will be reading it very soon. His novel, Molloy, is probably one of the most genius pieces of writing I've ever read. Some how his use of language makes sense to me. I do admit it takes will to read on. When Molloy went on about the pebbles I was entranced, where to keep them and his logic of the pockets. Then part two started and it totally fucked with my mind.

Then in my excitement, for I truly love BAM now and the great theater is gives me. I wanted to see the new production of Hansel & Gretel at the Met Opera. For The Met I can only afford the tickets that sit up in Heaven. I can't see well from Heaven. Too bright.

I found out at BAM they how TV showings of it for 22 bucks. It's brilliant. Like the professionally tape the operas to show and probably for archive reasons. So I'm going to that too...

Lastly, I hope when I go home I can make a tattoo visit: I've always loved Joan Miro so I wanted to get this...


The little creature and the stars. A great introduction to color if I do say so
myself...

P.S. I just helped my friend get a connection for 'shrooms...does that make me a drug pusher?