Iguana Isn't a Nazi

But after getting a buzz cut can pass the part of one. Well a gay one:



That is Iguana Post Park Slope Move.

Iguana's Hair Cut

The buzz cut has made it's return to my head and I'm glad for it. I do like myself with longer hair though, I'll admit. But, it gets to a point where I just get tired of styling it and even if it's just there (like parted to the side, a style I had been doing regularly the last few days) and people like it, I don't feel happy.

With a buzz cut, I don't need to worry about this things. I just wash and go and it's "styled" so to speak. Then it grows out and the process begins again. I got my hair did at a local salon in Park Slope, which was terrific just for the notion that I no longer need to travel to Astor Place for a buzz cut. It was friendly and nice and it really made me smile on the inside.

While getting my hair buzzed I realized how much blonder it's become with the summer. I feel like it was so much more darker when I got my first buzz cut in September of 2006. I have golden hair, it's really nice.

In other news:

My long ago partner in crime is coming to the city next week. And by partner in crime I mean one of my favorite fag hags of ALL time. E, who has a blog of her own, is coming to the city for a day. I already requested off work, so we can spend the entire day together! I'm REALLY excited by this, she makes me laugh to no end.

Her choice to come down is funny, she told me she wanted to see the Company Revival before it closed and basically I told her, "COME SEE IT!" She's been going on about Raúl Esparza ever since...well for a while. Plus since I sent her the Company Revival CD for free, I felt it my duty to get her to actually SEE the show before it closed.

She's not used to the life I've been living for a year. I call it the life of "Getting" not the life of "Wanting". Basically I have seen any and every show I wanted to this year (which would be basically EVERY show that touched a stage in NYC) and didn't care how I saw it. TDF played a big roll in the purchasing of tickets, which was great since they're cheap tickets that can be ordered from online.

Student Rush...eat your heart out.

It just was nice to spread that theater mania to someone else and have them buy a ticket to something they really want to see. Rarely do I get to do that.


Now this may sound extremely weird and corny, but in the last few years as I found out about different shows (Side Show, Smile, Carrie the Musical, etc) that premiered years ago (some not so long ago) and I missed out on them I would always feel a deep sadness inside my soul.

I'll never forget when I was turning 13 and my aunt was going to take me to any Broadway show I wanted. I was determined to go see Side Show. I had the CD and had seen the performance on the Rosie O'Donnell Show. Only to find out the show had closed. Or when I was turning 15 and I had just discovered Audra McDonald and desperately wanted to see Marie Christine. Once again, it had closed.

When I first moved to Brooklyn, 3.5 years ago, and I was moving into my dorm. Was I excited to be leaving home? To be going to college? To meet new people?

NO!

Literally the only thing on my mind was, "I have got to see Caroline, Or Change before it closes in a week!" And yes, I did see Caroline, Or Change two days later. I knew nothing of student rush, standing room only, etc. I just went and asked if they had student seats for the show. They offered me partial viewing and I took them. I couldn't see Chuck Cooper as the Dryer from my seat. But, I did it, I saw a show that I really wanted to see before it closed!

In that moment I knew something had changed. I knew that from this moment on, I would never let a show pass me by without good reason. I would no longer have to wait months until my birthday for my one Broadway show a year, only to find out that closed a month before. It was one of the very reasons I had moved to the city in the first place:

To experience theater!

So in short, I don't know where I was going with that rant. Except it was nice to excite E today to buy the ticket. Pretty soon, she too will be able to see shows as she pleases.

I hope this all made sense.

P.S. I have a pesudo date tonight...how these things come up, I don't know anymore.

Iguana Is Slothy

Honestly, I earned the sleep. So the gym had to be ignored today. In fact sleeping until noon was in order. Very not in my normal standard of life. Yet I did it and for that I feel no regrets.

I may shave off my hair soon. It's getting too long for my liking, and I don't know what to do with it, honestly. I part it to the side, but I look into a mirror and I see a face I don't recognize and I'm not comfortable with.

I used to like taking pictures of myself, nowadays I'm not so enthused. Not that I hate how I look or anything, just not fulfilled with that kind of vanity anymore.

The Gentleman Caller is hurting my heartstrings again, but that's extremely repeative and old news. So I'll march onwards.

I had some stressful dreams last night, not that I truly remember them. I remember waking up feeling as if some sort of stress was on my mind, but I realized right now that's not happening.

How strange to feel no pulling weights on in my current life. I found out today that I got ALL A's on my report card again. I am a stellar students, yes that is true and always has been. I guess I shall continue on with my education and get my BA in theatre. It makes me laugh (deep down inside) because saying I'm getting a BA in theatre seems SO useless to tell people. So I've reverted to adding on the word, "just" to the equation.

It's very strategic and smart. "I'm just getting my BA in theatre." And I'm prone to adding a "for now" at the end too. To show that I am thinking and wanting to do more in the future. I do, I really do, but what that is I have yet to discover or realize.

I know now in my life is that it's difficult for me to plan long term. Life's recent little game of changing drastically, with my already issues on long term planning has only helped to make me more weary of planning. I take life day by day now. Oh dear lord. I can't say that I want to go to grad school when I finish with school, I would like to, but then the question of where comes into mind? Yale? Spend more money? What do I want to do in the theater world? WHAT!?

Tonight, I shall probably be seeing a movie by my lonesome. La Vie End Rose. Edith and Judy's lives are so similar. I am sure I'll love it in that sad way. Why has no one made a REAL Bio Pic on Judy? Is that my calling in life? Perhaps it is. Perhaps time will tell, someday.

Iguana Runs Errands

Working as an intern/helper for friends is more difficult it sounds.

We had a staged reading of Another Gay Sequel at the Zipper theater tonight. It was a blast, but also a lot of work. The last two days were spent with me exploring the city to find these props that may not SOUND hard to find but were:

• A Crab
• Rosary
• Tiki
• Tiara

Yea, easy to find, right? Now name where you'd find them. The Rosary cost me a LOT of sleep lost that I was meant to get. Costume shops, jewelry stores, sex stores...nothing had them.

Low and behold, St. Patricks Cathedral has a gift shop...gift shop, I say. Rosaries go for 9 dollars apparently. My mission was accomplished.

The last two days have been long and tiring. Looking for these things in the hot sun, then working all day.

Summer Vacation. Is it all I ever wanted? My next paycheck will remind me of why summer vacation is good for me. Apparently, I will not be traveling this summer, as I ever SO wanted. As I walked to the subway this morning, my mind drifted on people who are truly in love with the city.

Am I one of those people? I want desperately to leave it sometimes, and yet I feel if I go, even for a small amount of time, I will surely miss out on the best thing and then where will I be?

Plus, traveling with no one is truly a bummer. And no one goes anywhere with me. In two Saturdays I will be going to Asbury Park in New Jersey for a gay wedding. I'm going with a group of friends, and well while that's not a vacation for them. It is most certainly for me. I haven't been on an actual vacation in three years.

It's not time to go into that.

During the set up for the reading, I was asked to get a mini flag so an actor could imitate the Edie Dance in Grey Gardens. From the two city blocks I walked, apparently the rain started. Without an umbrella I began to get soaked. So I ran to the theater, yes I found a flag.

I almost collided with a Latino Girl, who almost poked my eye out. I kept running, but did apologize. But, chances are she didn't take it sincerely. I arrived to the reception, looking like a drown rat.

Gay men everywhere and I look like a washed up wreck And I was proud of it.

Eccentricity isn't a choice, it's a duty.

After it finally came together, my props were used brilliantly. I tried three different kinds of pot and got VERY high. Almost TOO high, I came home and ate practically half the groceries I bought today. Different options of food, being difficult for me to understand, still. I'll get used to it.

I'm going to stop now, but my main point was. Judy's Carnegie Hall Concert once again popped up in my shuffle today. It suddenly nullified to ALL the shit of running around the last two days.

Goodnight, Moon. Goodnight, Judy.

Iguana and Vanessa

With the Tony Awards over, it means I can finally collapse until Fall, when the new season starts.

This weekend I saw two of the most amazing shows, which only proved to me why I love theater so much.

On Saturday I saw The Year of Magical Thinking starring Vanessa Redgrave. If you've read the book, see it before it's off stage. It was tremendously well done and performed!

Then today before the Tony's I saw Journey's End, and low and behold who was in the audience with me but Ms. Redgrave herself. Journey's End, which ended tonight, won the Tony for best revival.

This show has gone down in my life as one of the most amazing theatrical performances ever. Chilling is all I can tell you. I really pity anyone who didn't get the chance to see it. Really. It had such a short run because we live in a time where people would rather ignore ANY issues of war than even see a show about WWI, that was written in 1928 but is so incredibly relevant to today.

When it won and the Producer said that they put on this show knowing it was going to be a financial loss, I was touched and moved. That show was everything theater should be but often isn't. I can't praise it enough.

Then to finish of my theater weekend I watched the Tony's.

This is the first year I basically saw almost EVERYTHING that was nominated. So I sat there judging of my own accord. It was rather fun. My theater knowledge has grown so much in just one year. It's funny. Tonight I saw Vanessa Redgrave lose the Tony.

That makes three Vanessa Redgrave appearences in my weekend...

This weekend has been labeled:

A Weekend with Vanessa Redgrave

Iguana is in HEAVEN

My love, my idol, my dream.

Anita Morris

Since youtube.com was first created I have hoped and prayed that this video would be posted. It's Anita Morris doing A Call From the Vatican from the musical Nine in 1982. It's one of the most amazing performances I have ever seen. Seeing this was what only cemented my ETERNAL love of her. So sit back and watch (even though it's shitty quality) the stunning movement of this video.

Iguan's Days With The Streets

Day: 5

I feel like my time in Park Slope hasn't been fully enjoy yet. Since I plan on living here for a long while, I'll have time to learn to love it.

On the day I officially arrived to Park Slope I found a transparent and green bull in my Margarita and I knew it was a sign that I was welcome here. When I was kicked out of Chelsea and homeless for two weeks. I found a plastic Goldfish in the couch bed I was sleeping on. I took it with me to Crown Heights.

She sat in my window sill watching over me. Eventually she watched over the bed that would soon fill me with much anxiety and insanity. When I moved out last Saturday, in my rush to get out asap, I left her in the window.

She is lost to me now. This bull shall take up her job of watching me now.

It's the ones we love, that we end up leaving behind.

Today during casting for the movie I got to sit next to this actor or the first movie. He's beautiful and funny. Very normal too. We had a funny little connection, nothing I took as sexual, but just fun.

Last night on my date, I felt a sense of Deja Vu' because he mentioned several places and things that the guy I dated before had talked about. So suddenly I could completely relate to his stories, without ever having experienced any of them. I had the phenomenal Asian Chicken Salad at Eatery with the guy and when he brought it up I could completely agree it was amazing.

Then he spoke of these strong and sweet Margarita's at Food Bar (Watermelon was the flavor) and I could easily say, "They ARE strong and great!" Even though I'd never tried one in my entire life. Other subjects were brought up and I was suddenly living a life I'd never lead.

Dating older men has it's advantages. They know all the special places to go and the fun things to do. They also have their disadvantages. They've already done those things many times and just TELL you about them and never let you experience it.

I resolve not to be so stupid.

My 22nd birthday is coming upon us VERY soon. As of tonight it's officially a month away. 22 marks no significant birthdays until 30. Plus it makes the beginning of aging and getting older. Up to 21 (and through that year) you are always young, people always look at you young. You try to relate with a story of your generation and people look at you odd. Maybe it's also because everyone I know is much older. It never was an issue besides this, but I'm falling off track.

With this birthday comes a time to wait and watch. Life officially begins for the young adult at 22. Most normal 22 year old adults are finishing with college and beginning their stint in the world, etc, etc. I started a year and a half earlier one could say. Except I'm still in school.

So as usual, since I've done it before everyone else I know I will have more time to reflect. That's why the issue of aging comes to my mind.

Dating men who are in their late 30s/early 40s means you are attracted to them enough to know they still look good. Yet they always seemed uncomfortable with me. It may have been for two reasons.

1. My young body made them self conscious of their age and they realized that they are aging.
   
2. My obviously want of their security meaning through their material and monetary value was so obvious they just wanted to test it to see if I was actually attracted to them. When I would be polite and show affection, yet withhold my sexual nature they became confused and uncomfortable.
   

I am sure it wasn't the latter. Absolutely, I mean I'm not a black widow or anything.

In short I guess I asking for two things about the aging years to come...

Let me age gracefully and nicely and let me have the courage to admit that I am getting older and accept that fact.

Iguana says: Please Be Kind

I feel as though someone has set the reset button on my appreciation of life in general. I am glad for it.

Simple things such as waking up this morning for it being to bright.

I opened my eyes and looked around the room and smiled. Here I was sleeping in a bed that was mine, in a room with my possessions. A sun shinning in on me. It was so nice.

Then to follow leaving my apartment to pick up my laundry and just seeing the happy kids in the street, walking to school with their mothers.

Then walking my 15 minute walk to the gym. Knowing I no longer had to take a 30 min subway ride again.

Followed by walking to the grocery store and for the first time in seven months I bought groceries! I bought pita bread, jello snacks, crackers, hummus, Chocolate Soy Milk, Apple Juice, Rice cakes and TV dinners (Lean Cuisine of course).

I wanted to fall down on the floor and just raise my hands up to the sky and say thank you to someone.

Now I'm not saying my life was horrible in Crown Heights, but I never really noticed how nice these things are when you don't have them. But I survived and as this week progresses I realize how much I missed real life. I have sample everything I bought today. I need to be careful or I'll get plump or something.

I look behind me and see my bed...

MY BED!

My body still aches from the floor and all the nights I slept. When I leaned into the PS2 and made my back sore.

My body still isn't used to feeling food that's normal. I'm used to trail mix for seven months straight.

I'm not used to space to move in my room. I have so much laid out and have room for more!

I am going on a date tomorrow night and the guy said I should pack a change of clothes in case I spend the night. I laughed and smiled to myself and answered, "I'll do something like that..."

And for the first time I thought to myself, "But I want to go home and sleep in MY bed." I don't know when I ever thought that in the last four years? That I had a bed that I called my own.

Now some people may read this and roll their eyes and say, "Is he still going on about this? He didn't battle Cancer or anything." And I say true.

But I also say when someone is pushed to their emotional limits they have every right to revel in the good times as they did in the bad times.

I feel reborn and it's a nice feeling.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sleep and I'm going to lay in bed with my legs spread...because I haven't been able to do that in a year.

Iguana's Ventures

Humdrum Melodic life we're leading now aren't we?

Today I woke at 8:04 am and walked to pick up my 31 lbs of laundry at the cleaner. Which is right down the street. I watched kids walk to school with their parents holding their hands. One of the kids played a game of naming different colored rocks. I didn't know Banana was a color, but the mind of a child is a wonderful thing.

What I would like to mention the play that I saw this Sunday which after a couple days of thinking about it has left me spellbound. The show is Eurydice by Sarah Ruhl. Who did The Clean House (another show I loved)


This play blew my mind, which is why I needed a day or two to think about how I felt. It also didn't help that while seeing it, some old corpse behind me kept saying out loud, "This show is awful."

Which lead me to wonder, is this show awful? I thought the staging and presentation was astounding. It was pictorial throughout the show. Like the picture above, that image is beautiful in my mind! There were just moments like above that really touched my soul.

Then there was the matter of language. Sarah Ruhl has a style that I feel will someday be studied and celebrated all around. Her plays are fantastic and surreal and remind me of Beckett and Albee in their own way.

This time the lady is doing it for herself.

Her writing is poetic and absurd at some points that you would sit there and just say, "What did I just hear/see?" I loved that! For example, the stage is dark and the lights come up and a man on a giant tricycle rides on, with a badger wearing a head wrap attached to it. While loud rock music plays and lights just flash repeatedly. It was mind blowing!!

And at the end of the show, for the first time in an audience there was hesitation to clap. I had never felt such confusion in an audience in my life. So even if the rest of them hated it, I am proud to say I really enjoyed it.

I think Sarah Ruhl is becoming my favorite playwright of my time.

I leave you with this...

Iguana is now a Park Sloper!!!!

June 2, 2007 marked a great day in my life.

On that day I moved into my new apartment in Park Slope! The Year of Magical Thinking has officially come to a close and I can move on an improve on my life fully!

I can tell from the moment I officially moved in that this place only spelled signs of achievement and improvement in my life. I can't really explain it. For those of you (I don't think many) who followed me from a year ago in May, you can definitely understand why I am so incredibly happy.

Oh I am stoned by the way, so my mind's a little off.

Here is an example of where I lived before to where I live now so you can understand:

Before:

After:
I need to relax tonight. It's such a happy time we live in right now!