Iguana Is Slothy

Honestly, I earned the sleep. So the gym had to be ignored today. In fact sleeping until noon was in order. Very not in my normal standard of life. Yet I did it and for that I feel no regrets.

I may shave off my hair soon. It's getting too long for my liking, and I don't know what to do with it, honestly. I part it to the side, but I look into a mirror and I see a face I don't recognize and I'm not comfortable with.

I used to like taking pictures of myself, nowadays I'm not so enthused. Not that I hate how I look or anything, just not fulfilled with that kind of vanity anymore.

The Gentleman Caller is hurting my heartstrings again, but that's extremely repeative and old news. So I'll march onwards.

I had some stressful dreams last night, not that I truly remember them. I remember waking up feeling as if some sort of stress was on my mind, but I realized right now that's not happening.

How strange to feel no pulling weights on in my current life. I found out today that I got ALL A's on my report card again. I am a stellar students, yes that is true and always has been. I guess I shall continue on with my education and get my BA in theatre. It makes me laugh (deep down inside) because saying I'm getting a BA in theatre seems SO useless to tell people. So I've reverted to adding on the word, "just" to the equation.

It's very strategic and smart. "I'm just getting my BA in theatre." And I'm prone to adding a "for now" at the end too. To show that I am thinking and wanting to do more in the future. I do, I really do, but what that is I have yet to discover or realize.

I know now in my life is that it's difficult for me to plan long term. Life's recent little game of changing drastically, with my already issues on long term planning has only helped to make me more weary of planning. I take life day by day now. Oh dear lord. I can't say that I want to go to grad school when I finish with school, I would like to, but then the question of where comes into mind? Yale? Spend more money? What do I want to do in the theater world? WHAT!?

Tonight, I shall probably be seeing a movie by my lonesome. La Vie End Rose. Edith and Judy's lives are so similar. I am sure I'll love it in that sad way. Why has no one made a REAL Bio Pic on Judy? Is that my calling in life? Perhaps it is. Perhaps time will tell, someday.