Eh, well. . .

My roommate seems to be projecting her negative feelings this way. Not wise Miss, not wise. That's all I'm gonna say.

I'm doing laundry tonight. I have an early appointment and I intend to stay home and be complacent with it. Are you happy with that? Good. Good.

In other news I am seeing Next To Normal tomorrow. On Broadway! I did not see this move happening and I fear that if it does not get glowing reviews it will close rather quickly! I hope it has a healthy run. The lyrics are a little kooky, but I don't look at this show as the correct way to deal with mental illness. I just see it as a melodrama of ideas and themes.



The score is interesting to the ear. And has a very contemporary feel. I applaud Tom Kitt for creating it and the rock sound.

The other reason I'm seeing this a third time, is I saw Next To Normal for the first time over a year ago. It was before my diagnosis. The second was the impending days before my diagnosis. When it all happened, I could never relate to anything more closely than this show. Diane is going through these upsets that I related to. This feeling of loss and forgetting where your life is going. It really hits close to home on several levels. Not to mention Alice owns this role to no end! Tony award, please!

So tomorrow will be the third time I see this show. I have listened to the revised score and enjoy the changes, though I'm upset they cut out her Rock 'N' Roll electric shock therapy hallucination number Feeling Electric. I guess they thought it was to much? I'm just glad I have had a chance to see this show change.

Now I want to do something very foolish, but I feel it must be done. Every time I listen to the soundtrack, I remember how it's an Anti-Musical because it's so dark. Yet, I applaud them for doing just that. Whenever Alice Ripley opens her mouth I get chills. She has proved a great strength for me in this last year, through her voice. I want to tell her that.

I'm gonna wait at the stage door and do it. I must do it.

Today I spent with The Vespa-Rider in Fort Greene Park. It's a pretty place, we spoke seriously. He doesn't want to date me and I understand this. So I'll just be his friend. End of story. Done. Finished.

As If It Never Went Away

The Ambien wore off. I'm not taking another one because I need to be up at 7:30 anyway.

I am glad to know that months after beginning the pills, nothing has changed. The election is over and my life is getting better (I think). I still can't figure out how to sleep.

The 15th Anniversary Tommy Reunion Concert was stellar! Poor Alice Ripley, I wish they'd turned on you microphone. They kept showing clips from the Broadway show. It was such an amazing and captivating production. So dark and amazing. Marcia Mitzmin Gaven still has it too! Not to mention she looked amazing! I actually wish they'd revive it, with no real changes, it's honestly an Amazing Journey to watch that show.

I wish I could sleep. I really wish I could sleep.

My new favorite lady - Not I

Alice Ripley, to know that you've been in my life for years. Yet I chose to ignore you! How, why am I so foolish sometimes? Well, every Broadway lady gets their attention in my life and right now you're in my mind often.

What I would love more is if Alice Ripley performed Not I by Beckett. Not I is probably one of the most difficult monologues I have ever seen performed. It's a monologue that's just a woman's mouth. That's all. Watch the video if you don't believe me. Why I would like Alice to perform this is because her voice is so hypnotizing to me.

What might be better is someone tried to put Not I to music. I know, I know that's probably violating Beckett's idea. And the House of Beckett (which I picture as a small shack that when entered opens up into the abyss) would probably never allow it, since Becket's very precise, but I think it may be fun to put to music. A very dissonant sound would be created and for that I love the idea.

Saturday I am going to aim at trying to see Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Then on Sunday we scored cheap seats to August Osage County. Which I'm excited to see, because everyone's been ranting and raving about it since it opened. I sometimes wonder if my opinion is the same of the popular. More than often it seems it's not.