New Title: The Eccentricities of an Intern. SCENE II:
(IGUANA enters the subway car with SUPERVISOR. He stares aimlessly around the car looking for some kind of way to divert the possibility to faking a conversation. Relentlessly IGUANA has tried to make smalltalk with this man and failed repeatedly.
Along side the both of them stands ELBERT. He is a completely odd figure, with long curly hair and he never speaks unless spoken to. He is a theater fan with a fierce passion for Spring Awakening. Where IGUANA has failed in conversation with his SUPERVISOR, he finds ELBERT impossible to even look at.)
IGUANA: (Stares out the window) I love elevated trains.
SUPER: Did you-- (Speaks so inabudibly that IGUANA can't hear though he's next to him. ELBERT somehow hears and nods his head. SUPERVISOR looks at IGUANA for a response.)
IGUANA: So how many stops to Woodside?
SUPER: Only 17 uh-- more stops. We'll be eh-- there in about three days--
IGUANA: (Blinks) Wh--What did you say? (Looks to ELBERT for help, but quickly looks away. The train begins to tilt as it goes around a bend, everyone leans.)
SUPER: I said seven more uh-- stops we'll be there in uh-- 30 minutes.
IGUANA: (Resumes looking out the window) At least there's something to watch. I love riding the elevated train.
(BLACKOUT)
SCENE III
(IGUANA sit around a table of the gay elite. THE WRITERS of Music Fold know everything and anything about Broadway. They sit around a table that the SUPERVISOR is conducting. THE WRITERS as a whole make up a whole personality, but individually they are hardly memorable. While the SUPERVISOR tries to conduct a meeting, they just go on about their way.)
SUPER: So let's discuss uh-- new possible stories--
WRITER 1: I have the Hal Prince obituary complete. (Laughs) Next we will work on Carol Channing and...
WRITER 2: Stephen Sondheim! (Everyone laughs slightly.) Lets face it both of their careers are done.
SUPER: Uh-- Any ideas for Tony stories? Does anyone eh-- want to go to the Tony's. (IGUANA watches not surprised, as none of them raise their hands.)
WRITER 3: I'll just watch from home and post a moment to moment bulletin. Like I did last year.
SUPER: I was thinking of doing a story about what people mean when they thank certain people in their speeches. Like when Roger Bart thanked um-- Jonathon Larson.
WRITER 2: That's a good idea, we'll have to do after the fact interviews.
SUPER: I was hoping to write the story up for um-- Monday. (All three stop smiling at once.) Oh! (Turns to IGUANA) Do you want to tell them about your tattoo?
(IGUANA's eyes open widely. He has prepared for this, but not so suddenly! He is used to telling people on his own terms. To a group of the elite he is intimidated. Slowly rolls up his sleeve.)
IGUANA: It's Anita Morris...From Nine...
WRITER 1: OOOoohhhhh! (Bursts out laughing.)
WRITER 2: Well, I'll be! That is her. Did you see her performance? (All three giggle.)
IGUANA: No, only through resear--
WRITER 3: Do you have anymore Broadway tattoos?
(IGUANA tries to hold it in his mouth. But as a reflex, he gives the usual speech.)
IGUANA: Yes. I have more. (Beat) I am into Al Hirschfeld. You know the New Yorker? Of course you know! Well I like Al and I like Tennessee Williams. So I have two. Yes, two Al Hirschfeld. (Quick pause) Wait no three! I have three. I have the two Tennessee Williams. Well no, I mean of two characters from his plays. So I have The Eccentricities of a Nightingale on one calf and The Night of the Iguana on another calf. (Aside) Oh God! This was my worst fear! Explaining my Theater Tattoos to Theater people. Oh and lastly I have Judy Garland on my rib cage. (This sudden end comes complete with silence from all parties at the table. Then suddenly followed by laughter.)
WRITER 1: (Clapping hands) Brilliant!
WRITER 2: That's dedication right there!
WRITER 3: Anyone else have any Broadway tattoos?
(IGUANA doesn't know whether to be proud of mortified.)
WRITER 1: I have Cheyenne Jackson on my back.
(IGUANA realizes what to feel.)
(BLACKOUT)
