The Mississippi Conversation

Wardrobe Supervisor is the position I will soon be able to add to my resume. It's not a paying job, but it's experience. It's the Depression, welcome and join me, will you? It's a movie about Lesbians and Vampires. I love dealing with the actors of this world. The designer is a nice connection to make. He's a Hot Asian. I like to call them Hot Dumplings. A nice guy and at such a young age, has so many credits to his name. I won't lie, my eyes turned a shade of green.

I'm giving out to the universe with this work. I love the experience and appreciate it. It feels terrific to put my all into something. I haven't felt driven, it's nice to have a constructive goal. Soon school will start and I will have more than one thing to focus on. Oh my goodness, I'm really finding work outside of school.

At this age I feel like I'm coming into my own. As if before this moment everything before this was a prologue. I am introduced at this age, coming into these situations. My life before now a mere pond of memories. I'm making changes in life, confronting myself.

Harring is in Mexico, as I am sure I have mentioned once before. I enjoy his Scorpio behavior, but I worry about the intensity of it all. He travels so often, it's seems so romantic. How his life works. He travels around to make documentaries. Perhaps I can be the Wardrobe Supervisor for his film. HAR HAR

I fear that if we date, I may turn into Hedda Gabler. After developing a taste of worrying about only myself. I find the idea of sharing that responsibility with someone unsettling. Not to shoulder my burden, but to give me something else to enjoy for a while. Am I possible of that commitment?

It feels odd wanting to enjoy something in these times of serious worry. It's all going to shift soon, this I can tell. My body feels it, for better or for worse. So far the steps have been promising. I feel so sorry for those I have read about who have been "let go." Leaving my job when I did, for ceremonies sake, was the perfect timing. They didn't let me go, I left them. Pride is a sin, this is true.

In a few days I will be seeing Equus. That's something to look forward to. I love that play, it's dated true, but it's unique. This man wrote Amadeus too, which I find utterly fascinating.