Iguana's Countdown

For having all my plans canceled due to a break up I REALLY kept myself enjoyably busy this long weekend. It was pleasantly surprising the things I did this weekend that I normally don't do and how much I enjoyed them.

For starters, Saturday seemed like it wasn't going to amount to anything. I was sitting in my room when an old (young) flame from my past asked me if I'd like to hang out with a movie. I am no longer attracted to him though so I told him okay as long as it was platonic and all that. He jokingly mentioned okay, but we need to make out at least once during the night.

Whatever. He was funny when I last remembered him (this was the Chelsea Era), but I wasn't physically attracted to him. He had a body that my friends refer to as a "PFG" Body. Potential Fat Gay Body. Gay men (really anyone) who look good in clothes, but the moment they take off their shirt it's like WHOA?! Where was the hiding?

The best public example of this is Kayne Gillaspie from Project Runway Season 3. Just watch the show and find out. You'll know when he changes his shirt on screen...bleh. That's why I always wear one tight T-shirt, no hiding! Plus if I get fat or whatever I'll know because the shirts won't look right.

I digress.

Saturday — Bug
We went to see Bug, the movie that's advertised as a horror flick, but is actually just based off a play. In a way, the script is brilliant. Especially since I was sitting there (and though the movie is off the most extreme situation) I could relate to it all. The only thing that bothered me was when he called the bugs Aphids and I just wanted to shout, "They're scabies! Lets call a spade a spade!!"

But then there was Ashley Judd's campy acting that ruined parts of it. Most importantly the final scene where she has her discovery. I laughed out loud and people were just walking out of the movie. There was only 15 mins left. Why would you leave a movie if you already spent 1 hour and 30 mins there??? It wasn't that awful!

Saturday — Boysroom
It's a bar. My old flame is 20, so we needed to find a place that allowed the young ones in too. It was nice, but I don't like to go to bars often. Then two friends who were a little more relate able showed up and they gave me a certain powder that made me happy, happy, happy!! Not that the old flame wasn't fun, he was but he REALLY just wanted to make out with me. I did for a moment, just to scratch his ego. I know I'm awful, but he's a good kisser, but it's all I can honestly do with him. His body is such a turn off for me.

Picture a hairy, formless torso. With lanky arms. You're almost there then.

Sunday — Paprika
I didn't get home from the bar until 5 am so I spent the night/morning with the friends I met at the bar. Here was my dilemma, but they were very understanding:

The couple (who are the friends) both think I'm hot and want to bed me. I like them both and wouldn't mind doing it eventually, but that night, at 6 am after finally settling down. Plus I wasn't prepared for any for of sex and if I'm not I don't feel in the mood. So we made out and one of them rimmed me. I know, I felt SO bad for him at that moment! He seemed to enjoy it though. But we went to sleep, they didn't mind, so that was a relief. One of them groped me all night (4 hours of sleep) which wasn't THAT upsetting.

I only wore the jockstrap that night cause it was hot and I liked the airiness feel. I swear!

Digressing again.

I met up with better friends after I got ready for the day. We smoked pot and went to see a trippy Anime called Paprika. It was fantastic!! The highness only added to it. It was fun.

Five gay men seeing an anime! The rest of the theater was filled with nerds and geeks. I sort of count since I do have an anime background. But I enjoyed myself a LOT.

Sunday — Gayme Night
After the movie my friend invited me up to Harlem for a friend (I'm not that close so I didn't get an invite, but I'm a guest who is welcome to show up) who was having a Gay Male Game Night. The catch is most of the gay men there were Upright Citizen Brigade Improver's. Which isn't bad in theory, it's fucking funny in reality. But they're all sort of awkward. I enjoyed myself though, got pretty drunk, but hey why not?

Coke. Pot. Alcohol. I am an addict.

I also think one of the comedians developed a crush on me. He is adorable too. Who knows, all I know is I went on Myspace.com on Monday and there was his friend request. Hmmm. Regardless, I got home around 4:30 am. I'm not good with sleep this weekend.

Monday — Central Park
I promised myself that I was going to spend the day lying in the sun in Central Park. That's just what I did. Alone too. Hurrah for me, I'm an independent lady!! I got about an 2 hours of sun, which was terrific. I hope color develops! It was so nice, I have to go back throughout the summer. So relaxing, so fun to be surrounded by people and babies enjoying the day.

Plus, I stripped down to this outfit (above) and no one complained and I got ALL the sun exposure I wanted. I just laid there practically naked and sweated my ass off, but I loved every moment. I know I'm racy, and yes the suit DOES fit. It's made to be that tight.

Overall, the whole weekend was terrific! Other side notes not worthy of REALLY mentioning are below:

• The guy I broke it off with sent me an apology email. I haven't replied yet. But I think it's over. Though the letter was sincere.
  
• I love that summer is here!
  
• I move in less than a week!
• I have finally returned to bed with my Gentleman Caller.* I know this may piss off some, but we just honestly have a love/hate relationship. He apologized for the whole email thing from awhile ago. He is as my one friend explained: He's not happy with his life, so he is short on empathy to other people with problems. A note I made for future reference.
  

* The sex was terrific. I'm glad we reunited.