I went to work and performed life as I normally should. All night I wrestled with this gay party I was invited to. I was going to be the youngest gay man there, and therefore I would be dissected all night. Then I mentioned it to my friend at work and he insisted we go, "Let's go stir some people up." Were his words.
St. Christopher protect me
It was enjoyable, eyes darting everywhere. People coming and going. Free drinks. The whole sha-bang! I found the few friends I have, including the host who after sometime offered me a vial. Being the curious little Corine I am, I put it to my nose and sniffed.*
I admit there is some fairly interesting about doing drugs. I don't do them often, save for pot. However, in my eyes pot isn't a drug to me, but more as a necessity in making life more interesting.
Moving along...
I wasn't there for 10 minutes before this man from the last party, who I went home with almost a year ago found me. He was all over me immediately. He was drunk, a little he claimed. If he was a little drunk, than I was a little sober to see through that. He kept hanging on me reminding me of the amazing time we had, I shook my head and agreeing. Yet didn't quiet feel it. He wouldn't leave me alone, though I was prone to leave him mid-sentence so I could see other people. His little drunken state, didn't seem to mind that.
Then there was a moment, a moment I live for. When I noticed he'd disappeared, I went to go find my friend. I walked into the next room and they were making out. Not caring either way, I left. They apparently soon moved to the closet and had sex in the closet. Which was the big debacle of the party.
What can I say, I hang around with the top of my class.
What made it tiresome was when they were finished and this guy shows up again and is all touchy with me. Corine just can't keep her mouth shut sometimes, I tell him, in his slightly drunken stupor.
I saw you in the closet...WE ALL DID.
He gets all embarrassed and is trying to deny it. The closet isn't the best place to have sex, especially the place where every one's keeping their bags. I'm hardly mad at my friend, nor do I feel any attraction to this man anymore. Yet I feel this I have the salt, and see an open wound...
And it was my best friend too.
He is speechless, I put on my best smile and tell him. I don't care, yet my voice wavers. It was rather fun to do. I don't care, as I said. I wasn't looking for sex with him and I was bored. He proceeded to latch onto me and not let go. Kissing my neck and telling me how adorable I was. And as if my friend got the joke too, he would always walk up to say hello at those moments.
This is exactly why I despise men right now. Also exactly why I felt justified to play with this little mouse while I was here.
Yet my comeuppance was upon me before I knew it.
A new vial. Well let's see shall we. My friend came to the party and represented LUST, I will now take over the role of GLUTTONY. What else have I got to loss, it's already 3 am. Somewhere Kurt Weill has written an opera/ballet for us!
Sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff.
We lay on the bathroom floor and get dizzy and giggly. I feel myself leaving my body, it's a surreal and strange feeling. I can't control it, so I have no choice to let it happen. It feels amazing and painless. We are chatting, yet I can't focus at all. He's speaking and I'm listening. I'm moving slightly and feeling completely dizzy. It's amazing an terrifying at the same time.
There is a lapse in time. Could have been minutes, or perhaps hours. The puking does hurt, I'm so far out of my body I don't even notice any of the puking. I'm laying on a towel, where did it come from? My friend is laughing and chatting with me the entire time. Rubbing my leg and helping me stay conscious, he's locked the bathroom door so no one can see me. In my mind I feel grateful for all of this. Yet all I can say is, "I'm sorry."
My mind feels there for it all, but completely shaky. The light is so bright that every time I open my eyes I feel a soft pain. I look at my friend who is blurry through my teary eyes. In the words of Lifetime Movie: I was dancing as fast as I can!
I think to myself, perhaps this is it, perhaps I'll die here. Then he says a joke, "If you die, I'm dragging you out into the hall." I respond in my mind, I can't die that way! So I lived, with a lot of puking and dry heaving. It's funny how quickly someone can look so pretty and then turn so ugly. Yet, this afternoon when I woke up around 2, I was happy to see how slim I looked.
*Let it be known that I am fairly familiar with this host and I knew exactly what was entering my body. I wouldn't take chemicals from a stranger. Regardless though, I did get into my situation nonetheless.
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