Jewels. JEWELS!

This week from 9 AM to 8 PM I spent working at a famous jewelry company. What did I do you wonder? I put tags on the jewelry, wrapped it in tissue paper and then put it in a plastic bag. For 10 hours a day. I lost my voice this week, so I sat there and listened to music mostly. I enjoyed the voicelessness as a way to not have to be nice to the people there. I'm embracing this whole temp lifestyle. Meaningless jobs, for long hours and being paid more than it's worth. It takes a little swallowing of pride, but once you get passed that, the money is fun.

I handled jewelry that was so fucking expensive.


This little number is worth $10,900. I was so close to strapping it around my dick and blaming the beep on my belt buckle when they searched me on my way out. That's more money than I will probably ever have at one time. It's also so tacky looking. I remember the days when a diamond was a diamond. You didn't need 15 other gems on it to show how wealthy you were!

This coming week is the holiday season. My grandfather is in the hospital, he had surgery. Followed by a second emergency surgery. In between those surgeries, he apparently had a few strokes. 'tis the season!

The Day After Pill

Christmas arrived and I got an Xbox 360! That was supposed to be my initial reaction, but then life happened and I got more and more poor, etc. Before the reality could set in, I spent the $100 dollars more I needed to make my Xbox 360 complete.

I'm glad I have the newest in ridiculousness-technology. I wrote that list sometime in August if I remember correctly. The times since have changed and I felt it weird to retract my request. So I am content that I got this ridiculous box of entertainment.

That aside I am going to play games like GTA IV, Oblivion and Silent Hill: Homecoming. I enjoy GTA IV because I see streets that I've lived on. It mirrors it frighteningly well. I was in Grand Army Plaza today and almost died when I looked at a replica of the Brooklyn Public Library!

I was supposed to go out with an acquaintance from the city who is from Saratoga. I don't know if it will happen, but we were supposed to get drinks in Albany. I once shared a sofa with him after a night of crazy partying. We drank a lot and the capillaries in my nostrils may have shed a little more light on the subject. We ended the night buying microwave pizza (or was it waffles?) and gobbling them down. Then we shared the sofa, nothing sexual, just two random guys cuddling on a sofa because they were to far gone to enjoy anything more.

Wow, that was a memory I haven't relived in some time. Funny how we have those little stories in our lives. Or is it just me? We of course have met before in other social situations. I've shared seats next to him at plays and in bars. We've laughed and felt together. He's a nice guy, but I think tonight may not mount to anything. My bones are cold and I am sleepy.

I've never gone out to the bars upstate, I'm slightly curious. The acquaintance has dubbed Albany: Trashtastic. My first bar outings were in the city, isn't that an odd thought? I will make a point of going out tomorrow!

This morning I had a wet dream. It was so quick and sudden. Not hot at all actually. I dreamt that I was dry humping some guy I worked on that TV Pilot gig. A couple of humps in and I came all over his fully clothes body. Hotness!

There's been a big discussion of my future, as usual. I am still figuring it out, being here doesn't necessarily help. Seeing high school friends and who's engaged to who, it doesn't intrigue me. Do people think marriage at 22 is a wise choice? Having a baby at 23 is an okay decision?

Perhaps some people have that maturity in them. I would like to think I am capable of that, but it just seems that people are just agreeing to being bored. Oh, how I so wish I could be boring.

Being up here, 9 PM feels so late. I want to be in my PJs, but in case that guy calls. I shared a sofa with him, I owe him past 9 PM.

Tiddle-Di-Du, Tiddle-Dee-Doe

It's Christmas Eve! Since my family is of the anti-Christ nature, we're watching movies indoors tonight. We already paid dues when we saw my 97-year-old Great Grandmother. She is demented beyond all craziness. You get a lot of, "I don't remember anything anymore?" and "Who are you again?"

I noticed on her table there was a picture of every grandchildren and great grandchild. Except mine. Symbolism isn't even necessary here. So I decided that I can treat this woman as a stranger, I don't know either. I had more fun that way, someone foreign to me, not a dying relative.

I got her shaking a shoulder and laughing when I danced to Judy Garland on the TV. She must think I'm just dandy. Perhaps she will remember that, or if it's just passed on like most of her memories.

I got my hair trimmed and had a wonderful time plowing the driveway and pouring salt around the tires of the car. It was stuck in the middle of the driveway, slipping and sliding. I got to the barbers though! If this is real life, I don't know what I shall ever do!

The Obama/Warren debacle has pissed off many a homo. I am not willing to turn my back on him just yet. Be careful though, Obama.

Enjoy the day tomorrow, Merry Christmas Evie.

For a Moment, All Was Calm

It started off with a conversation on how old the Boston Terrier was. It ended with me telling her I did need help and I was indeed seeking it!

How did it go from point A to point G? I'm holding my cool, I can't be mad at them. They can't understand. I blame too much, I rely on past events because she writes my life off. Was I just the boy who always made a mountain out of a molehill? Yes mother, it's not as if I were molested or abused.

This is the holiday time of year. Did I run home for a chance to relax, I am trying to relax. I am unable to relate with some of these people here. Does that mean I'm living a better life? Or what? I am not sure.

I get worked up so easily. I get so upset and I yell and tense up. When I talk to her, it just gets to me. She's a mother, that's what they do. They annoy and prod. There is a generation gap and it's not to passe to realize they can't figure out based on experience.

Breath, breath, breath.

Returning "Home"

The semester is finished and as predicted by the great prophets. I will return upstate. It's going to be a trip to remember, or perhaps not. It will read and look for jobs. I will argue with my father and hang out with friends. It's all like it used to be.

I was going to write something meaningful, but I have an emergency errand to run before I go home. Oh, to get pregnant now!

Liza At The Palace

The semester is through. It's time for Christmas and it's blizzarding out. I feel weird. Odd.

My gift for you...

I'm "Brave"

When I'm not freaking out about finals or not sleeping. I am like this:



Or this:



Oh wait, there really is no difference is there?

Merry Christmas

Joni Mitchell - Both Sides Now
Beckett - Endgame
Judy Garland - Meet Me In St.Louis & A Star Is Born
Cellas - Cherry Cordials
China Trip - Tomorrow


These are the things that have made my Christmas bearable. Honorable mention goes to Kate Winslet, Kiki & Herb, pot and mimosa.

I got long underwear too. It was a quick minute being home, as it often is. Someday I'll go home for a week straight. A whole week! My mom cried kissing me goodbye. I cried watching Love Actually a second time.

Sweeney Todd wasn't that good, but new in tradition to help tie my bond with my younger sister, we must see a scary movie. Sweeney didn't necessarily need to be turned into a movie. The stage version is stellar enough. Johnny could only sing one note. Helena was good, but not the ideal that Lovett could be. Or has been preformed once by Ms. Landsbury and then reinvented by Patti Lu.

Tomorrow I want to get pizza from the place I love down the street. One last hurrah in Brooklyn before traveling to China. Take that Gentleman Caller who once tried to advise me from going! Whoa, where did that come from?! Who knows, right?

Better entry tomorrow before I travel to the orient. Hope there isn't a murder on it?!

Holday Cheer Pt 3

Sleeping on the night before holidays has never went well for me. I try, but I feel so anxious. I took some kind of sleeping supplement, I bought it for the trip to China. It'll hopefully help. If not, then it's gonna be a slow boat to China...as the phrase goes. This time literally.

I saw Sweeney Todd the movie tonight. Eh. That's all I can really say. It was about ten minutes in that I realized it was never meant for the screen. The show is genius, the lyrics are brilliant. It moved way to quickly to really feel anything. Plus watching Mrs. Lovett burn up was almost comical to watch. I was happy that Toby was defined as a boy, rather than a man child.

Christmas is a strange season. As usual, I was home for about 30 seconds and now I'm leaving again. I'll be with my family on Christmas, which is nice. I'll drink a little and feel all tipsy. Before the day is done I'll be bus bound to Brooklyn. Then the next day to relax and pack. Then to JFK to go to China.

There wasn't a day this weekend that I slept in past 8:45, which is odd. What is wrong with me? Why can't I sleep in anymore? Maybe I'll do that on the 26th, seeing as I don't have to go to the gym.

This Christmas shall not be difficult. I feel as if there's always some anthill to climb, yet it feels like a mountain. Why is that? Little Children, I felt just like Kate Winslet. We live on dreams. The scene where she is spying on Patrick Wilson and sees his wife and just bursts into tears. I've felt that before. She makes a simple affair into an infatuation, how typical of the dreamers of life.

I think it's time to TRY to sleep. Perhaps Beckett will push me into dreamland. I haven't enjoyed my dreams since I've been home. Hopefully tonight will not continue the trend.

Holday Cheer Pt 2

This is the year for Jason's Bar Mitzvah...I mean Christmas.

Last night, I held a little party with old and newer friends. It went smashingly, nice quiet evening with Mimosas and wine and a game of Celebrity.

I watched Love Actually with my mother. It made me cry it was so beautiful cheesy. I don't know if I mentioned I watched it Thursday as well, with the Tall Man. I cried in front of him too. Which made me feel a little awkward. I mean is it just sex? Is it something more? I am not 100% sure, but I just cried in front of you. That makes me feel strange.

So I've decided to go a different route and just say Down With Love. Down with cupid and his stupid arrows. Etc. It's no point in hurting myself again.

As you can tell tonight I am filled with pre-Christmas loneliness. Which seems the theme of the night.

Holiday Cheer Begins now...

Have yourself a Merry Little...little...um...what's PC nowadays? I know, have yourself a Merry Little Holiday Season, Ha(o), Ha(o), Ha(o).

Moving along...moving along. I am home for Christmas, the bus ride was taxing. The Tall Man tried to talk me into calling into work so we could cuddle until I left. Excuse me? He wanted to cuddle all morning? Because I'm a responsible person I declined. I feel that early goodbyes are better than later ones. As Shakespeare once said, "Parting is such sweet sorrow." Of course later, at work, I was kicking myself for NOT calling in.

I am ready to leave my job. I was sitting there yesterday doing work and when I told my boss I was leaving she looks at me and goes, "Wait...I thought you said you're leaving at 5?" When it was 4 pm. Even though two weeks before she said, "Do 10 to 4 pm shift...it'll be 6 hours." Cause I gave her...HER...the choice I said, "I can catch the 4:30 or 5:30 bus...but I'll need time." She picked 5:30 and then suggested the 10-4 work day. I know she isn't expected to remember everything about my life, but it annoys me. I could've said, "I'm not coming in...I'm going home..." Yet, I didn't. In short, without complaining TO much...I hate my job.

So I've pretty much decided I'm leaving May 1st. I mean two weeks is ample notice. Yet, I would like to possibly save some money. Yet, I am acting backwards that I'm not waiting until after summer. I just cannot be there through summer. I hate it. I should enjoy my job a little. I feel very liberated about this choice!!

I usually refrain from writing about the men in my life, unless they are causing me grief. I will break this rule because of China and I am not going to see this man. So I will have time to forget him. He is very sexy. The communication is there and the sexual attraction is definitely there. It's been a while since I've felt this for a man. Meaning that something is stirring in the background. Some feelings will happen that aren't needed. Stay tuned...Yet, until then I will enjoy this man who actually lives nearby me immensely. On Thursday we watch Love Actually. A movie I thought I'd hate and ended up bursting into tears in front of him. I couldn't help it, the movie is so adorable.

This is why I don't watch Romantic comedies. I stick to horror...

Lastly, Broadway News:

I have some more wonderful bootlegs. I got them the day I left, Christmas came early!

These are the titles I got:

• Nine (original 1982)
• Falsettos
• Starmites
• The Last Five Years
• Smile the Musical
• Taboo
• Evita (Original, it's in B&W though...hehe)
• Merrily We Roll Along (Original)

As you probably can tell this is some of the most exciting musicals I've ever wanted to see. Was I type, Falsettos is playing to the right of the screen. Which though it's blurry and static-y. It's AMAZING! I've been waiting YEARS, to see Falsettos. Barbara Walsh is phenomenal! And Jason has gained so much more ground in my eyes.

Meanwhile, the first one I watched last night was Nine. I had to in honor of my Anita!! Now first off I need to say Nine is probably one of the most brilliant musicals I've ever seen. The score is normal, the story is normal. However, this 1982 production is so stylized it's amazing! Though I am not crazy about William Ivey Long's costumes, this show was one of the moments I am crazy about them. I wondered for years (yes I wonder about these things) how Dreamgirls lost to Nine. After last night I know why. Dreamgirls is amazing, true. Nine is original though. It's fully thought out. It was one of the early movie musicals and should have set the example of what movie musicals should strive to be...yet it didn't.

Karen Akers, Anita Morris, Raul Julia and yes, even that cunt Lilian Montevecchi impressed me.

Then to add more to this viewing. At the end of the show I noticed there was still 20 minutes of running time of the DVD. The screen was blue and suddenly I realized the guy who made this DVD added some extra footage. First was a TV segment from a NY TV show called 2 On The Town. Where they interviewed Anita Morris!! It was godly! They had some clips of A Call From the Vatican and of her dancing with Grover and Jason. Then to add more the next clip was of Anita singing Private Dancer on the Johnny Carson Show. Now I'll admit it's not my favorite moment of Anita, but it was transcending my fandom for her. To see such a rare clip was like seeing God.

Anita Morris Rant Ended.

P.S.
Barbara Walsh singing I'm Breaking Down is great and it's sad they never made a Broadway Cast version of Falsettos. Tsk. Tsk.

This Gets Me in the Holiday Season

Oh P.S.

I felt like this coming into my apartment from vacation today:




It contains all I felt.

"Honey I'm home...of I forgot I'm not married." — No one to cuddle up with an talk about my vacation.

Drinking the milk by the carton — Wanting to eat myself into nothingness.

Listening to the Messages — Remembering all the things I left behind that I need to deal with

Listening to the message about perfume — Remembering I'm alone again...

The nervous breakdown — What I've wished I could do since I was 12 years old...

Becoming Catwoman — I repeat: What I've wished I could do since I was 12 years old.