ADVISORY WARNING: The following is a work of fiction. None of the things said are proven true. If they are in fact true, then that is merely a coincidence.
(IGUANA sits with FRIEND. It's Tony Award time and thus the conversation is always on some sort of theatre related topic! As the conversation has progressed, they have mixed in the topic of sex. Theatre and sex are IGUANA's two favorite topics and the limits of what comes out of his mouth are limitless. We tune in already in progress.)
IGUANA: (Sits up and his eyes open wide) A shock thought popped into my head! I dare not repeat it...
FRIEND: Well now you have too.
IGUANA: I wonder if Stephen Sondheim fisted Jerry Herman in his Dungeon while John Kander taped it? How strange would that be?! (Long pause)
IGUANA: (Beat) P.S. rumor on the street, from Mary Testa, is Sondheim has a dungeon. (They stare at each other and laugh hysterically at the same moment.)
FRIEND: Almost as weird as Patti snorting a line off Hal Prince's cock. (Laughs)
IGUANA: (Determined to push the limits.) Do you know Carol's famed Hello Dolly song, I Put My Hand In? (Sings) I put my hand in here? I put my hand in there? (FRIEND nods)
IGUANA: I always pictured her fisting Jerry Herman while singing it. (Both laugh)
FRIEND: Sondheim was very hot in his day.
IGUANA: And a total top I'm sure, but still if he has a Dungeon that means he's a man who doesn't discriminate, because you just need to put a mask on them.
(SCENE)
(Young Herman)
(Young Sondheim)
(She's fisting him in this photo)
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