Due to having to get to work, I had to cut my previous entry short. I realized it may come off that I HATE the Cyclist.
And I don't.
After meeting him last night, I did find him to be a person who is somewhat enjoyable. He is friendly and polite for all intensive purposes. However, he does seem to lack some of the social graces that I find acceptable in someone I would like to make a regular friend. He takes me as a person who needs to be the center of attention. I watched him float from person who person in the club, chattering away.
Having this need to be liked by everyone. However, his brash personality seemed to come up to the surface every now and then. As I said before, when we first spoke all I needed to say was something along the lines of RENT isn't my favorite show, and he jumped on this quest to find out WHY it's not. While keeping with this tone that I was wrong in saying that.
Yet, he felt no guilt or subtleties in attacking my love for Xanadu, because he thinks it's stupid. As I defended it, he continued on. Things like that just irk me. If you want to be every ones friend, perhaps you shouldn't make them feel as though they are committing a sin.
I purposely held my tongue when I saw him and his friends turn on their admiration for Idina in her powerful rendition of Defying Gravity. I didn't say to him,
"Wicked is the worst show ever and to like it means you have no taste any issue concerning theater."
Granted I know that is slightly true already, so to say it only pisses people off.
I knew it would probably offend, so if he likes it (and I'll admit Idina is good in that one song, but that's as FAR as it goes for that show).
Sometimes as I am falling asleep, I lie awake wondering, "Is Stephen Schwartz lying awake too thinking about why he lost the Tony to Wicked?" Really, is he?
Then there is the fact that he obviously wants to sleep with me. As he obviously wanted to sleep with other people there. People who are constant flirts annoy me. No and it's not cause they are not flirting with just me. It just shows desperation in my mind. Perhaps I'm frigid. I'm secure. Or that I'm not old enough yet to feel that, "I must be the life of the party because, if I'm not no one will notice me because, I am old."
When your priorities make me feel like you're adding me to a list, a waiting list that means that the next time we are together I will end up in bed with you. These false pretenses of, "Come over so we can watch was Sci-Fi movies..." It makes me yawn, it makes me feel less than I am worth.
Those little games played were fun once. When I was up for the excitement of it. I knew that if I was to watch a movie, it would end up with sex. If I were to show the Cyclist Xanadu a year ago, I wouldn't care.
If I knew he were generally interested in having sex with ME and not just to have sex.
That is the feeling I get.
...
...
...
Regardless, I find myself infatuated by him.
Isn't that funny(Girl)? Absurd(Person Singular)?
Or is it typical to feel this way? He's caused me to heat up without really doing anything. Isn't that what you're drawn to?
Why did I do it?
You are attracted to the ones who keep you on your toes. It makes the game more fun to play. But does that mean I'll have sex with him...Stop yourself and think about this for a moment?
What did it get me?
He may have a list, but you have an Encyclopedia of people. It has been gathering dust though. It would be nice to add another name to the lexicon, right? This is an open and shut case really. The Cyclist is a go-getter, tis true. All you will need to do is show up, be prepared and it will follow it's own course.
Give 'Em Love and what does it get ya?
What that's where it will go horribly wrong. You know what happens to you after that. I mean meaningless sex is what you've done before, but aren't you trying to end that? Yet, wouldn't it be SO nice to put an end this this chapter. To let both you and the Cyclist end this marathon.
What does it get ya?
Well shall see, right?
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