Sunday, November 4

Rethinking the Situation

I was hanging out with someone last night. It's very difficult to hang out with someone who is only a year or so older than you. To hear about their terrific life and all that. The high paying job they have, how lucky they were with their career path. How they can afford 1000 a month on an apartment. They've traveled the world. Etc. They have themselves put together pretty well.

It's also more difficult hearing these things while high. I get slightly paranoid and more quiet than normal. So I probably seemed like an even bigger Hot Mess. I sometimes meet people when I'm high (as I am won to do) that I can't tell if it's just my mind, mixed with the paranoia, or factual that they get VERY angry. Like they have these moments of aggressive behavior mixed with unnecessary angry they they can normally hide when sober, but it sneaks out when their attention it less focused.

So things like me telling this guy about my job, that I am not longer enjoying. Yet I stay there because, A. I am close to the boss and I know we're short on people and I don't want to quit for no apparently reason. As I can't really look for another job now, since I'm going to China in a month and I have classes still. and B. That I am still in school and this is not a job I plan on sticking at, I know someday I'll leave it. Chances are, sooner than later.

Instead of understanding, he lets out this angry comment to me about, "It's not worth staying there when you're wasting your potential and you are compromising your talent!" In a normal moment I would defend this...At this spacey moment I took it in silence. As I sometimes do.

This goes back to my fears from the other day. You know, not sure what I can do right now...

I just hope to be as famous and fabulous as her someday...

Warning, this is almost TO FUNNY. You may die of laughter:

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