A Faggot Grows China – Part Seven

Colder and colder the weather grows. Day by day. When we arrived it was beautiful. When I returned from Hong Kong is was foggy. Now it's freezing. Tomorrow it's supposed to be colder. I miss Brooklyn. Everyone wants to stay, but I'd rather continue on with my life.

I have an issue of living my life to the moment. It's normal for people to do this, so I shouldn't feel awkward. Yet, I feel weird. Growing up it was always about getting to the moment. All of school was getting to graduation. Then life became about getting into college. When I decided about Art School it was all about getting a portfolio and getting in there. Then at Pratt it was about doing the best I could in my foundation year to get into my major the next. Then in my sophomore year it was about getting into a new school and the process started all over again.

Last year it was all about survival. It was about getting to New Orleans, it was about finishing out the year. It was about GETTING TO CHINA! And soon China is done. Then what? That's the questions I am trying to answer. China is amazing to experience. It was truly and eye opener. Yet in 2008 I want to figure it out. It's time to work it out, start the game of life.

I feel like this has been one last hurrah. People seems so young here. All school and foolishness. Granted I am foolish at times too, but some of the students here have such weird naive ambitions. Like some girl (whom I am not too fond of, but will be used for this example) is going to school for Finance. Her goal though is to join the Ms. Chinese American pageant and then "break through into acting" and if her DREAM is not fulfilled she'll go back to Finances.

Oh...

It's great to be ambitious, but seriously? Especially someone who is going to school for theater, I see people working their asses off who aren't even good. You're telling me you're just going to pick it up? It's like what I used to dream.

Anyway, I am just ranting. I suffered from insomnia last night, so I'm a little loopy right now. I just know when I get home, life starts. It starts with me giving work the word that I am leaving...I can do this, I will do this. Then I look into registering for summer classes and looking into a summer loan. Possibly an internship and even better a job in theater! It will all someday come together...when I return to Brooklyn!