A Faggot Grows China – Part Eight

Is my blogging style just a bunch of fluff? Does it really matter? I swear to you by the grace of God that I usually start writing on here with a message in mind. I read through other peoples blogs. Those people who are more goal oriented . They read an article and present the idea that the article inspired them to write. They present statistics from the blog.

I sit here reading and smile and always thinking the same thing. "I wish I could do that!" I then tell myself next time I write in here I will write a goal oriented blog entry. One would believe that in 7 years of blogging I'd have picked up that talent yet. Wouldn't I? Then I read back entries and see that no, I haven't. My attention span, that lasts longer than the life of a fruit fly, but less than that of a 6 year old.

Patti LuPone seems to inspire gushing. Musicals seem to inspire thought. Female singers tend to bring up emotions. Books tend to inspire inner-thoughts. What does Audra McDonald inspire? She's both female songstress and musical queen? Emotional thoughts? Here we go again veering off the track of thought. What was my point again? This always happens, three paragraphs or so in.

Regardless, I will always forget my thoughts. I'm in China and I'm longing for Brooklyn. I'm longing for my life again. I'm lonely for homosexual thoughts. Hanging out with straight people takes energy. Lots of energy. Hanging out with women who would never qualify as fag hags. That doesn't take energy, it takes patience...lots and lots of patience.

Actaully, I'd much rather slap a lot of them. I know that may sound faggy and self centered. Yet, it's not cause their not gushing over me. No, that's not true. I can happily say everyone on this trip loves me. Asian girls, straight men, white, black, Dominican...whatever your race. You can't escape my quips and laughter. I'll get you sooner or later.

It doesn't necessarily mean I like you. It means that I'll put up with you. After three weeks I am letting it slip. Last night I openly discussed my dislike for some people on this trip in front of people who could easily use it against me. Then I realized, I didn't care. If they wished to hate me. Then hate me. I'll still smile and treat you nicely.

I call it like it is. Yes, I find it annoying you refuse to learn to use chopsticks even though we're in China. Yes, I find it obnoxious that you openly release your rude opinion about me. No, I will not stand there and accept that sort of behavior. I'm passive, I agree. I'm an awful person, I guess I agree that as well. I'm sexually frustrated...which someday will be fixed I am sure.

Hello, China. I have 50,000 dollars you'll spend on my temporary insurance that says you'll spend to get me out of this country if I need to...I'm ready to cash in.