Why does moving and life suddenly feel like a Zelda game or a King's Quest classic from Sierra? It's been level after level. Seeing the place, making the decision when things got rough. Getting the security deposit and testing the keys. Calling Time Warner for Internet service.
Now signing the lease was a chore. I had to wake at 10 am because it was the only time Elizabeth and I could sign together. Elizabeth heard wrong and said we could pay by cheque. Wrong. So as she went off to work I had to hop into the landlord's car and drive to Brooklyn's Chinatown (only two avenues away) to an ATM that wouldn't work.
Mind you I needed to take out over 1,000 bucks. So that was already a gamble. So we luckily drove to another one (my iPhone wasn't working as well as I hoped.) and we went to as my landlord called it, "Jew Town" so the bank we found obviously wasn't open.
Oh, did I mention how my landlord gave me the skinny on how Hasids have sex. Oh, juicy indeed! It involves a sheet with a hole and a placing of the hat. That was before he told me about his journey to a strip club and catching Hasids there with their curls pushed back! Buzz, buzz.
The 1,000 dollar limit had been reached so I had to use my parent's emergency Credit Card. I feel bad, but they'll get their money back. And mind you it was an emergency. I had beat the ATM beast! Advance to Level 8: Moving.
Level 9: Living Without a Toilet Seat or Internet is a dozy!
Then I had to make a much longer than necessary trip back home via the Subway. Escape from Jew Mountain! Flaming Stars of David and yarmulkes as far as the eye can see!
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