(IGUANA and his Roommate DIZZY are sitting in the living room and watching TV. IGUANA goes into the kitchen and pours the Cup O' Noodles into a bowl and brings it into the living room.)
DIZZY: What!? You poured your Cup O' Noodles into a bowl? Why would you do that? (Teasingly) It's called Cup O' Noodles for a reason. You eat them from a cup-- (Pause and IGUANA just stares back.) -- Cup O' Noodles. Cup-- (IGUANA stares back, no reaction.) --O' Noodles. You eat them from a cup. The cup they come in? (Silence and eventually she laughs.)
IGUANA: Are you through?
DIZZY: Cup O' Noodles...Okay now I'm done!
IGUANA: Good. Sit back, I'm gonna talk for a bit. (Pause) As you may know, I have lived in some pretty slummy places. I have been homeless, I have sat up all night scratching myself because my bed is currently housing an infestation of bugs. I haven't used a kitchen or a piece of dishware in over three years! I have only known things like plastic and "disposable". Forks that are a shiney, the color of clouds on a spring day. (Beat) And tonight as I was making my Cup O' Noodles. I stopped in the kitchen and thought: Iguana, you live in a nice apartment. With bowls, dishes and spoons! (Small pause) Sure you're eating a Cup O' Noodles! And they are meant to be eaten from a cup! This fact is indeed true! But Iguana, you have a bowl! A real bowl! You can eat your Cup O' Noodles from a porcealin bowl! And you shall! Tonight you shall eat your Cup O' Noodles not from Styrofoam, but from porcelain! (Stands triumphantly and eats some of his noodles. Then quickly gags as he forgot how hot they are.) Phuck!
BLACKOUT
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