It Baffles Me

Last night my aunt came into town and bought me a steak. This is the good aunt, the one I love and enjoy. I got drunk with her, which was nice. I based a lot of my personality off of hers, she taught me to be upfront and not take shit.

We remembered stories of days past, like old friends. When we used to sit up and watch the Home Shopping Network and mock the dolls they sold. We laughed at the poor people who could only afford Cubic Zirconium Diamonds. I ate to many Sour Cream and Onion Pringles and threw up all over her floor and she made me clean it up (I was 10 years old), because she could not stand the smell.

She remembered the story of how I named her first daughter. Which is true. I can't remember this, but I called her up (when I was 12) and told said:

E.Iguana (12-years-old version of the older): Aunt, I have been thinking. You want to name the baby Christy, right? Well I can't allow you to do that because Christy sounds so much like Chris. Which as you know, is my brother's name. As you also know, I just became a middle child. This has been a year celebrating my siblings! So if you name your daughter Christy, that will remind me to much of my family. I don't think I could ever love her if that was the case.

Aunt: Okay. What do you want to name her?

E.Iguana: Lately, I've been very into the name Leah.

And it was done. That conversation was verbatim. Just so you're aware. I would like to believe I was articulate as a kid.