Another Sunday

A picture of me on my new iPhone - Camino Real

Just a Sunday. Any other Sunday really. I have an iPhone, but I am at a bit loss of what to do with it. I have my first cell phone/laptop thing/camera/ipod/etc. My area code is the original Brooklyn too. That's something to be proud of.

Strangely performing actions like this, like getting a cell phone that solidifies my permanence on this earth. It terrifies me. I'm leaving my mark, even in the smallest amount. There is a cell phone bill that people could use to begin to learn about what I did here. It sounds strange I suppose. Yet, my mind works in strange ways now.

I had a sit down chat with a friend today. This was difficult for me because I love this friend immensely. It's the same as telling The Tall Man. He was shocked and didn't know what to say. I told him (as I tell so many others) that is there nothing I am looking to hear. I didn't expect the news to shake me so much. It feels odd telling myself that it's okay to be confused. Life doesn't need to be summed up all the time. Life moves strangely for everyone.

A year can flow by, or seven. And it will affect everyone differently. Today while telling my friend I saw a look in his eye. I saw him seeing me, seeing my future and it chilled me. He saw me sick, he saw me alone, he saw me...Chills I say.

Time can move so strangely, but we allow it. We try to race time, we try to overcome time. Apply to grad school directly because you won't do it later in life. Get a job right out of school. Make a salary. Who says that is what it should all amount to? Thinking these thoughts tires me.