Friday, September 14

Kiss of the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Before I go home this weekend, I MUST give my review of Kiss of the Spider Woman that I saw tonight in Chelsea...

How can I begin to explain Kiss of the Spider Woman...I can't honestly, I can't. I'll try. I mean if you want to go see it, good for you. The only reason we stayed was cause my friend had an old classmate in it.

They certainly put a "new" spin on it. It's very dark or tries to be. They utilize the whole space, the cell is a platform on wheels that they push around. Everyone sings flat and they "updated" Kander and Ebb's score with synthesized music. Gimme Love...OMG. It was basically Madonna's Erotica Video. I can't begin to explain it, but I'll solider on...

But here's what was hilarious about the show. Apparently Chita's (and Vanessa I suppose) star power is SO great that they decided to cast three people as the Spider Woman. Turning Aurora into every woman...well not exactly. Apparently Aurora was a small Latino girl, a tall black homosexual and another bleach blond homosexual who looked a lot like a mix between Rocky and Eddie Izzard. Not only that, the costumes were directly out of the last revival of Rocky Horror. Bodice's and high heels for ALL!

The tall black man sings Where You Are as Eartha Kitt would have but, more nasal and less hair. I Do Miracles is sung by Eddie but MY GOD! The part where Aurora and Marta sing together...was...well, I was laughing hysterically. Then Gimme Love was the Latino girl's Erotica number, including her squatting down sexily...over the toilet in the cell. I'm sorry but certain poses over certain objects can give you weird images in your mind.

BUT...

The show stopper was of course The Kiss of the Spider Woman where all three came out to sing. One flat, one off key and one completely missing the point all together. Eddie's sequin tale dragged and made this horrible noise throughout the show. If can't get worse, right? Oh but it did. Not only did they sing in their unlikely trio. They wrapped strings of Christmas lights around themselves. But they did this as they opened the number and the fact the lights were hooked up to extension cords only made it not only look awkward, you felt strange watching them do it.

Then as they walked out to sing more, in the only ways they knew how. Some problems were to be had. Eddie could only get so far on his extension cord and almost kept walking without his lights. While Eartha's lights seemed to go haywire during his solo and started to flicker on their own. Perhaps it was his electric voice that just fried the wiring. Latino was smart and stayed as close to the back as possible and sort of just skipped around. I have never laughed so hard in my life.

When I said I've always wanted to see a production of this show...I knew I should have been more specific in my hoping. You win some, you lose some.

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