Looking for Weakness

Last night, I went bowling with my Ex and his new boyfriend. Now I went out thinking, this'll be me, them and some friends. Instead it was just us. Which wasn't what I was lead to believe, I thought it was a group gathering. I'm glad to say though, that I wasn't put on guard or anything. I just felt strange.

I get along with this new guy. He's sweet, though a little bitchy. I showed him Hannah Jelkes, Alma Winemiller and of course Judy. And he says, "You're so gay." Which therefore puts me at alert so when I see him doing something equally gay I want to say, "Well you're gay too!" But I didn't I kept myself in check.

Okay, Ladies and Gents here's where it gets ugly.

So when I arrived I got there and they say to me, "We paid already, so you just need to get your shoes." Okay, no problem. We go to our lane and while we're bowling they order a pitcher of beer.

I hate beer. But, I figured they haven't asked for money yet and they're offering. Why not? I know that may seem pretentious on my part. Yet, when I arrived they didn't ask for money either. I think by now it's safe to assume I am being covered for tonight...

Yet, a word to the wise: Couple's are sneaky and greedy. They never asks the eccentric iguanas if they would like ______. They decide amongst themselves (the two of them) and since it's two on one, obviously the vote has been decided. This has happened to me before, and I don't like

I BET you see where this sordid tale is going...

As the night goes on. Of the TWO pitchers of beer they order...I drink about a plastic cup full. They drink probably 2-3 cups of beer. We decided that it's now time to call it a night. Still no one has asked me for money. Our night is done, I am safe to assume I haven't paid for anything, nor will I have to...

Is anyone really ever safe?

Now, there are moments to bring up money issues that I don't mind. If I entered the Bowling Alley and they'd said, "We paid, you just need to get your shoes...it was 15 dollars a person." I'd not have been offended. I'd have seen what the deal was. I'd have said, "No I don't drink beer...I don't want any beer." Yet, I digress let's get back to the matter at hand...

As I'm saying goodbye to my ex, I give him a hug and a peck on the cheek. I move in to say goodnight to his new boyfriend. Thinking to myself, what a nice person he is.

Me: Well, goodnight! I had a wond--
Him (laughing): Can we have money?
Me: --erful time! We must do it aga--W-what??

Now, I agree he had every right to ask for money. Though, I find is a bit crude to ask for it as I am about to hug you goodnight. Wait until I've hugged you and ask. So, since I can't see myself, but I'm sure I felt my eyes narrow in as I asked him what. And my aura must've changed from glowing to bitter cold.

I wasn't offended, I was just taken off guard. So I stuttered...

Me: Of course! I'm sorry, it's no problem.
Ex: No you don't have to if it's to much.
Him: Well, we're both broke right now.
Me: No! I just didn't realize. How does 20 bucks sound? (I had no idea how much anything cost at this point)
Him: Well it's more like $35 a person.
Me: Oh.
Ex: If it's a problem, don't worry.
Me: No! I have the...money...I just didn't...

Mind you I said this all while smiling and I'm not upset. Just taken aback by the suddenly change in mood. I don't like people to think I was taking advantage of them. It's just that no one hinted I needed to pay!

So I fish out some money. 35 dollars for two games of bowling and a cup of beer? That's a Broadway show and dinner some nights! Now, I'm not pissed, it's what the new boyfriend did next that annoyed me.

Obviously, the mood has changed a touch. It's a little awkward, I know. But then he says this...

Him: Oh God! This is awkward isn't it. I feel like such a douche bag asking for money.

Suddenly I feel all the muscles in my face release and my smile drops and I look at them and say deadpan, "Goodnight." And I walk away. I know the proper response was to say, "Of course you're not a douche bag! You have ever right to ask for money!" Yet, at that moment I wasn't feeling it. I almost said, "You're right." Good for my censor.

It's really easy to play the Sympathy Card AFTER you've taken my money. Made subconscious purchases without my consent and mentally kept a tab of how much I owe the entire night. Yet, you can play it all you want, but my No Bullshit Card will always trump it.