SCENES WITH MY FRIENDS: Composer Collboration

ADVISORY WARNING: The following is a work of fiction. None of the things said are proven true. If they are in fact true, then that is merely a coincidence.

(IGUANA sits with FRIEND. It's Tony Award time and thus the conversation is always on some sort of theatre related topic! As the conversation has progressed, they have mixed in the topic of sex. Theatre and sex are IGUANA's two favorite topics and the limits of what comes out of his mouth are limitless. We tune in already in progress.)

IGUANA: (Sits up and his eyes open wide) A shock thought popped into my head! I dare not repeat it...

FRIEND: Well now you have too.

IGUANA: I wonder if Stephen Sondheim fisted Jerry Herman in his Dungeon while John Kander taped it? How strange would that be?! (Long pause)

IGUANA: (Beat) P.S. rumor on the street, from Mary Testa, is Sondheim has a dungeon. (They stare at each other and laugh hysterically at the same moment.)

FRIEND: Almost as weird as Patti snorting a line off Hal Prince's cock. (Laughs)

IGUANA: (Determined to push the limits.) Do you know Carol's famed Hello Dolly song, I Put My Hand In? (Sings) I put my hand in here? I put my hand in there? (FRIEND nods)

IGUANA: I always pictured her fisting Jerry Herman while singing it. (Both laugh)

FRIEND: Sondheim was very hot in his day.

IGUANA: And a total top I'm sure, but still if he has a Dungeon that means he's a man who doesn't discriminate, because you just need to put a mask on them.

(SCENE)

(Young Herman)

(Young Sondheim)

(She's fisting him in this photo)

Adding Machine, Or Something Like It

Last night I saw Adding Machine and went into the show with much speculation. It won all the Lucille Lortel Awards this year. Along with a bunch of other awards. Yet, when I put in the CD my Supervisor gave me I scratched my head and rolled my eyes. It seemed so intense and dissonant at a first listening that I simply decided I must see it to decide whether or not this award winning Off-Broadway musical was worth all the Hullabaloo.

At 8:05 PM I realized why it got all the praise! As the two lead characters appeared on stage "lying" next to each other in a bed, while Mrs. Zero complained and droned on and on about her wasted life. I was sure that tonight's evening wouldn't be like any I'd encountered in a long time.

The story is simple, but takes incredible turns. I never found myself predicting anything before it happened. It was as if I was watching a twisted fairytale take place, but at the bottom of it all there was so much truth. The original play was written in 1923 by Elmer Rice and then musicalized in modern day. Yet, they kept the 1920s style true to a T, meanwhile, using synthesized music that was reminiscent of old silent movies.

The story is as follows:

After 25 years of service, Mr. Zero is told he's being fired and replaced by the new Adding Machine. In anger he kills his boss and thus begins a wild adventure to jail and to the great beyond.

Think it sounds simple? I thought so too, but then the show happened and I found myself mesmerized with the absurdities that followed.

The design elements were amazing. The lighting, though dark, was amazingly done. The depressing mood of the show was set before the show actually began. The set was simple, but always changing and you rarely felt like you were seeing an Off-Broadway Production, but a full scale Broadway musical.

The acting was very solid. I thought I'd hate Mr. Zero and Mrs. Zero (the missus has a voice that could make Elaine Stritch cringe), but I loved they both and the imperfect lives they lead.

The only thing that Adding Machine has going against it is the extremely modernistic score. Not that it's at all bad, actually it's brilliant! Yet, sometimes the normal person doesn't see the brilliance. They just wonder where the pretty songs have all gone. It's true, if I never saw the show and listened to the CD, I would (and did) turn it off very quickly.

Yet, once you get through Mrs. Zero's grating opening number and come to terms that this show is devoid of pretty songs. You can easily fall in love with it! Actually there are songs that are pretty, but they too hold an irony in them.

If you're in the city and love theater. I highly suggest Adding Machine. It may not be for everyone, but for those who do appreciate theater that tries.

I Am Trying...

So something came over me the last week or so. It was a feeling to not inform. To not let people know what is going on with me. It's also adjusting to the 9-5 schedule too. I feel like there's no more time in the day.

The gym is more difficult to go to at 6 am, when people always want to do things that go past 11 PM and you don't get home until midnight or later. Writing is difficult too, mornings when I would normally update are now filled with interning things. I've gotten some swell things out of it though. Free things. Like books and tumblers.

Then there is moving. Which luckily has been postponed until the end of July. As originally planned! That's a plus my friends. A big plus. Finding the place and such isn't as easy. I want to find a lease this time and with my friend by my side, we will.

I tend to feel like people expect me to be better because it's been sometime since things have come to pass.

Said even that happened in February has passed. It's now June. Move on.

Huh? Life isn't like a TV show where it's contained into small episodes. Once the 30 minutes is through you move on to the next issue.

You're only 22. You have so much more life to experience. So don't dwell on it.

Who? I do honestly believe there was a small difference in what you were experience when you were 22, than what I am going through now. I'm being selfish of course. When you were hyperventilating over a C- in Biology. How could I ever not see that as a crisis?

I thought a trip to Fire Island would suddenly relieve all my issues. How silly of me. It only showed me how some people are so comfortable in their lives they can go to Fire Island every weekend. Those people aren't me. They are the people I don't even see on this island.

Now the question at hand is:

Is their life the real thing?

or;

Is mine?

I'm sure that's an objective question. All I do know is despite all my trials one day some 20-year-old boy will look at me that way. And when he does, I may not even remember this thought I'm having right now.

Granted I live to 30.

The BIG 86!!

Wow, 86 already? Next year it'll be 40 years since you left us! What a legacy!

What it is To Black Out

While trying to escape from Fire Island I wasn't feeling very well. My stomach had been amiss the entire trip and I probably was dehydrated. With the weather at a minimum of 90 degrees, I basically needed an I.V. of Water running into my arm to stay normal.

As the Ferry hit the mainland I was eager to get out. I watched couples flirt and hold onto the fun they had on the Island. As I was just eager to get back to Brooklyn. Perhaps it was the nausea that comes with watching a couple flirt. Or it was the heat and lack of water.

Slowly my vision started to fade. I've never had that happen to me, but for a good 30 seconds I went completely blind. I couldn't see anything. Suddenly my music started to fade and I held onto a wall. I wanted to go home and not create problems.

So the brilliant idea of: You can just pretend you've got your sight and walk off the Ferry and it'll probably come back. Luckily, as I bumped into countless people it slowly came back. It was terrifying though. To be alert of the fact that you were due to pass out. Yet, I didn't because I don't like to be a bother.

Summation of Fire Island...

How was my weekend in Fire Island?

Bah. If you saw me in a box cut bath suit, wouldn't you say hey?

I never want to go to that Island again unless I'm financially invited or I am older. Bah.

P.S.

I <3 Filing away old playbills and production photos at Playbill.com!! I need to work in Woodside MORE than once a week!

Anita Morris with the replacement Guido in Nine.

Carol Channing and George Abbott. I have no idea really. It's probably 1994 here. So she's just revived Hello Dolly! and he's trying to figure out what they did to his script for Damn Yankees!

An Intermission.

I've been missing for several days on purpose. I have chosen not to do pictures-a-day or anything along those lines. I'm trying to figure things out and basically I'm just tired a lot.

Forgive me, you four people out there in the dark. I just am going through some changes.

I'm reading Kate: The Woman Who Was Hepburn and allowing a new obsession to evolve. I'm still adjusting to 9-5 jobs and how I'm going to have to "shift" my schedule to get used to it.

Also, the whole moving thing has brought me down in energy. Though for some reason my roommate told me I could wait until the end of July. Which ultimately brings me back to the original plan. So that's okay, but moving still depresses me.

I'll return I am sure.

Picture-A-Day #75

I missed my picture yesterday. I'm allowed to miss a few. I looked like this yesterday AND today. Ironic?

Diva Divine: Nell Carter

She was big, she was mean and she helped checked Liza Minnelli into rehab before anyone else could! Nell Carter was a lady above all on Broadway who's talents are sorely missed. She died in 2003 from heart complications. Most people will remember her from her short lived 80s show Gimme A Break. I remember Nell as a true performer and Diva Divine!

Annie Mar 26, 1997 - Oct 19, 1997
Angela Lansbury - A Celebration Nov 17, 1996 - Nov 17, 1996
Ain't Misbehavin' Aug 15, 1988 - Jan 15, 1989
Ain't Misbehavin' May 9, 1978 - Feb 21, 1982
Dude Oct 9, 1972 - Oct 21, 1972
Soon Jan 12, 1971 - Jan 13, 1971

You may have spotted Nell in Hair the movie. Or you may have seen her on various sitcoms on ABC. Ms. Carter got her start though from Ain't Misbehavin' where she won the 1978 Tony Award for Best Featured Actress. From the second number where she sang Honeysuckle Rose with Ken Page, to the moment when she belts out Cash For You Trash, and ending with her breaking your heart with Mean To Me.

Nell's rights to the Tony Award were secured with those amazing numbers. Especially when she had competition such as Imogene Coca (On The Twentieth Century), Ann Reinking (Dancin') and her own cast mate Charlaine Woodard.


Nell is [theatrically] legendary because she was supposed to be the original Effie White in Dreamgirls! This is a lesser known fact, but she was signed onto the project. She dropped it to do Gimme A Break. There is a rare 1979 Dreamgirls workshop recording done with some of the original songs that were never used in the show. Nell Carter does sing One Night Only and let me tell you. If she'd done that show, Effie 'Melody' White would've been much bitchier.

In the recording Ms. Carter is singing the song and (I am not sure if it's part of the original show or in the actual studio) someone tells Effie/Nell to speed the song up and Nell just screams, "NO!!!!" Then continues singing. I like to believe that Nell was giving sass to Michael Bennett, but who knows.


Nell's last famous Broadway role was in the revival of Annie in 1997. She played Miss Hannigan. Now I would give my left ball to see Dorothy Loudon in the original run. I would gladly give up my right one to see Nell in the revival! Therefore leaving me ball-less, but a happy homosexual.

Enjoy Nell singing Mean to Me. You will always be remembered Nell.