Iguana Had a Dream

Listen to me and I'll tell you a foolish, foolish story. A story that I'm not proud of, but must be told. Some of you will laugh, others will cry, and some may just shake their head in confusion.

Since late May I have been waiting to see Patti LuPone in Gypsy. I have been waiting diligently and last night was the night...

well...
would've been the night.

For you see I am horribly disappointed in myself. I would've loved to have sat there watching Patti's vocals work with the show. Seeing Alison Fraiser and Nancy Opel act out their Stripper's song. Watching Boyd Gaines and Laura play great supporting rolls.

Drinking four Vodka infused drinks though didn't allow that. I am not a good drunk, I hate drinking in fact for moments like this. I sat down, and felt dizzy. My eyes were buzzing. I couldn't focus on anything. I looked through my binoculars and just couldn't focus. I listened to the music but was too busy paying attention to not throwing up.

It was in the middle of "Some People" that I decided I would puke.

Some people can get a thrill knitting sweaters and sitting still. That's peachy for some people, but I'd rather puke...

It was as if I were becoming blind and deaf at the same time. I was so ashamed. My friend made the executive decision to take me home. Yes. I left. My friend got a cab in Time Square and rode with me ALL the way to Brooklyn. I was all over. I'm a drunk to be remembered I am sure. I remember hanging my head out of of a cab, dry heaving like the drunk I am.

There was a moment this happened that I thought, "How appropriate to life. I am sure somehow Patti LuPone would be able to say. You were drunk during one of my shows...You're a boy after my own heart!" It kept me sane.

In short I don't want to write more about this, but I feel awful, almost ashamed. I will SEE Gypsy if it's the last thing I do. And it may just be that too.