After waking up from my party and still wearing last night's face. I called my Gentleman Caller bordering on tears. I'm not going to go into it, but it just happens that way. My equilibrium was thrown out of whack and I needed something to put me down to earth...
So this is what it's like being sober??
I did nothing really special on Sunday. I had to recoup from the party and all that. Though I wasn't wild in the least. It was a day for the GC and I. We saw Metropolis, perhaps one of the greatest movies ever and one of the campiest musicals too. It was very nice to see such a thing on the big screen.
I then went to Virgin (as usual) and I discovered my love for Joni Mitchell, by way of Betty Buckley. I bought my first CD that refuses to load on my computer. That came as a shock.
I had a king...
So I finally got to tell off that guy. The one who drove me emotional mind in circles. He IM'd me again and I told him it was my party this weekend (to which I invited him) and he spat out he had company this weekend, even though he said he'd come. I simply replied with, "It's okay, no need for excuses, I knew you wouldn't come."
Then he crossed a line...
Side note: Against popular belief, I am in fact a VERY bitter person.
He said, "I don't know why we never hung out again...it's probably my fault." Well since you opened that door yourself, guy I may as well let myself in. I told him yes it was. I said that after our last meeting I decided to myself that it was up to him to make the next move because I felt like I was becoming a nag and I didn't want that. He told responded with that he doesn't know what he wants and I simply said.
Yea, I sort of figured that out on my own.
As the conversation moved along he mentioned sex and how he hadn't had sex in three weeks. Hmmm. You're really going there with me now aren't you? Well I may as well tidy up the place while I'm here.
I said, "Well, that's funny because having a fuck buddy sort of negates the whole dating conversation we had before." To which he tried to explain how no you can have a fuck buddy and still date people. If the dating got more intense, he would call the fuck buddy off.
Hello, my name is Medea. I just killed your bride...not enough? Where the FUCK are those kids?
Is he really going there? Really? My response is something along the lines of, "Really? Well let me give you a small example of how I don't believe that. What if you're say dating someone who is taking it slower and you have a fuck buddy on the side. What happens then...OH WAIT I just answered my question...You never asked for a third date."
But, he couldn't just agree, he started rambling on about how that's why he didn't call me back, he didn't want to date...
Oh, so we're bringing this back full circle are we? You want to bring it on home you STUPID MOTHER FUCKER!.
Seriously, keep your stories straight. I don't even feel bad about this because he's just contradicting himself. I told him that I sort of caught on to that. I may be slow, but I'm not dumb. So I tell him, he's spouting out bullshit (but much more politely of course). When we had that conversation he said he wanted to try dating. I told him that I don't mind that. I asked him directly, you want sex. I can do sex. You want dating, I wouldn't mind that either. I would just like you to define some idea of what you want.
In short, don't fucking cuddle me the way you did and tell me you want sex afterwards. It just pisses me off. God damn fucking passive Tops. What USE are they, I ask you?
So to end the conversation I say this, because I am the way I am:
"Well, now I know you're just looking for sex. That's great to know, next time be more honest with yourself. As I said before I can do sex. And I would definitely like you have sex with you sometime. I'm not upset, just want you to get your story straight is all...So if you are ever in the mood let me know."
To which he said he's keep that in mind.
FUCK YOU. This train left your station a while ago and it is not coming back!!!
And that is how I get closure.
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