And I'm Still Wearing My Socks...

These are the days that make life worth living:

Gather around one and all to hear my tale and believe me or not if you wish...

So for almost a year someone from Livejournal who I've been speaking with regularly told me he practiced hypnotism and he had been trying to come to Park Slope to help try it on me for my stress and such. Now this man is an older man with a wife and children. I'd never met him before, but since I do have an issue with sleeping and life. I am getting therapy, why not try to get hypnotized?

So finally we made plans to meet today and he showed up. I am open to the idea of being hypnotized. So I embraced it...until it happened. It started off normally and he did what you'd think, "You're getting sleepy..." kind of bullshit. I do admit the first time I did feel like I had fallen in a trance.

He then told me that I would remove my socks. Wearing my socks would now be my biggest worry, no more stress. He then told me that he'd wake me and I would want to show him my tattoos and that I loved being hypnotized and I would ask him to hypnotize me again. Harmless fun, why not?

I woke and felt silly. I did as I was told, removing my socks, etc. I asked him to do it again.

Sleep, sleep, sleep...

I laid my head down and went into my trance again. I was not in any sort of trance.

Now ladies and gentlemen. This is where it gets strange. So it was more of the same, "You hate wearing socks, you love being hypnotized. When you wake this time you'll feel warm and you'll take off your shirt to change for your play. Then you'll ask me to hypnotize me again."

What?!

I'm used to being to being shirtless, so I thought I'd indulge him. So I wake up and tell him I'm hot and I need to remove my shirt. Then I ask him to hypnotize me again. Why not? Third time is a charm, right? RIGHT?!?

So he continues with the same stuff but adds, "This time you'll start to get ready to go out and you'll ask me to hypnotize me again."

Can I take a moment to mention that during all of this I heard a rubbing noise. As if he was rubbing something on the outside of his pants. Yes, I lie not.

So I start to put on a new shirt and...

Sleep, sleep, sleep...are you serious?! Well here we go again...

"You've decided that this shirt isn't right, you'll decide to change your shirt and your pants and you'll thank me for hypnotizing you and ask me to do it again. You love being hypnotized, you will want to be hypnotized again." Oh dear sir, I called that one out from a mile away. I awake and tell him I need to change. I put on a new shirt and start to take off my pants. While I am trying to pull on my new pants...

Sleep, sleep, sleep...Oh fuck you, motherfucker!

This is the part that gets me. This entire time I guess I'd been either very convincing or he wanted to see how far he could push me until I broke character. Being the consummate actor I am, this last round I did break character. I admit.

"I want you to take off your shirt this time and your pants and lay on the bed. You feel amazing right now, no shame in it..."

It was at this moment I dropped my pretending and my face tightened out of both shock and the urge to open my eyes and say, "Surprise, I was kidding! You asshole! And you're a pervert, get the fuck out of my room before I beat you within an inch of your life!" I think he noticed this look in my face because he suddenly changed his request to. "You'll dress and thank me for coming and we'll go out separate ways."

Thus, I put my switch blade back in it's holster...

He left and I put my socks back on...