Something is Off...

I went to bed last night at 11:15 pm. I was mildly high and I took half a Melatonin (sleeping Vitamin thing). Yet it was one of the worst nights I've ever had. Then this morning I have awoken (oh goodness is that even a word? Well it is now, but I suppose I mean arisen) into a mindset that constantly makes me want to burst into tears.

I understand that maybe the sleeping until 2 pm didn't help me fall right off into Dreamland again. Though I did dream last night mind you. It was a horrid dream about camping and I forgot to pack my sleeping back. I was with all the people I went to China with. Only this time the last place I wanted to be was for a month in the middle of the woods with them. I kept waking up and feeling restless.

I have an idea of why I had these issues. Hopefully after tomorrow they will calm down. Things to do like getting test results back from the Doctor (because he didn't call me back on Friday...but said that if he didn't call me back it didn't mean something bad had happened. No news is good news). I have a performance thing tomorrow for my class, which I've rehearsed...I mean rehearsing for the first time today.

I also am having those regular what am I doing with myself worries. The fact that it's been a month basically since I told myself I was telling work I am leaving and I haven't. Why so afraid? Today I have a moment thinking, "Why would you leave it if you don't have a reason to leave it?" And it's making sense. I mean if I'm just taking summer classes why? If I have an internship somewhere that requires me full time then I take it. Perhaps I should wait until the end of the summer. Depending on what happens to me in terms of opportunities.

As per Tuesday tradition, all these things will be brought up in Therapy. Hurrah. Hopefully, some clarity will come from it!