I feel lost and scared. I feel as though I'm trying harder than ever to just "keep going." Absolutely absurd is this whole situation. It was the same story as last time. Things were said and things weren't said. I'm quitting therapy because that cunt made me believe it would work out.
So it's 8:35 AM and I'm still up. Perhaps, I'll skip class today. I will skip class today. Perhaps I'll go running. I will go running. Perhaps I'll cry more. I will cry more.
In And The Band Played On a couple passages that stood out to me as poignant were these:
"As Joe drove from Gary's house, perched on the hills over the Castro District with the dark silhouettes of downtown skyscrapers in the distance, he realized their lives would never be the same. December 15, 1982, was his point of demarcation. From then on, he cast his life in terms of Before this even had happened and, now, After." (212)
"As Gary surveyed the village below him and watched the weeds in the wind, he was surprised at how much more he was seeing, how every sight has extra color and more palpable texture. Intellectually, he understood why. He might never see another winter. As if for the first time, he was actually taking in the feeling, the entire sense of the moment as he has never before. It was what he had long been seeking in his years of self-exploration and his career in psychology—to be so totally in touch with the moment, with now. In a strange way, he began to feel as blessed as he was cursed." (230)
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