Have To Believe It's Getting Better.

Yesterday should be classified in what I wanted to be another horrible day. Yet, life seems to be forgiving me. As much as I wanted to stay unhappy about issues. I mean I skipped the gym, I didn't want to go to school and I was sleepy the first half of the afternoon.

Yet, I got an email telling me I received an Email telling me I got an A- in my Costume Costume construction class. That means, today the Saga of the Patti LuPone Pillow is finished! It's done, the stress of that is through. And I did it. By myself, determined and stoned.

Then I got my short story back from my teacher and she absolutely loved it. She told me it still needs some working (which I knew of), but she encouraged me to continue on with my writing career. To this I was elated and cautious. I mean it is a Intro to Creative Writing Class, but I know she's a well rounded Teacher. So I was happy by that, and yes I am going to continue my writing career. I will continue it indeed. Perhaps I'll email the story to anyone, if they're interested? So of the four of you who read this. Send a comment and I'll email it to you.

Then I had a doctor's appointment. I'm still trying to figure out how exactly I can sign up for ADAP and APIC. It's the governments way of saying, "We're going to help you through this ordeal." Yet, figuring out how to fill out this form is like solving and ancient puzzle. So I guess I'm up to the game of it.

As for the doctor's visit. He doesn't seem to want me to leave the office. Nor do I wish to leave it either. And it logically seems like I won't have to if APIC works and starts paying for my health insurance for me. Yet, to become part of APIC, I need to sign up for ADAP and that means I must sign up for Medicaid. Meaning lose my current insurance. Meaning I would lose my doctor, right? right?! Among that, my doctor seems to have a grudge against Callen-Lorde.

Now, for some great...if not terrific news. My doctor sat down and told me about my blood tests. Though my tests still come back positive. My T-Cell Count is inhumanly high, higher than most people he said it was at 1000. This doesn't mean in the next couple of years it could drop or fall. I doubt my crazy weekend depleted anything to much.

He also informed me that my Viral Load was so low that it didn't even read on the test. They test for a count of 400 and I didn't come up, negative. Now for the rest of my life you cannot say negative to me without my ears perking up and my eyes growing wide. I had to make sure I heard him correctly. So he's retesting my blood for a count of 52 and he says if I'm not on that, then I will have to go to an institute for tests because I'm 1 in a 1000s.

That would be wild. My legacy right there. I know it won't be that way. My friend tells me that it jumps the first year, so who knows. In short I have a good chance of going my entire life being undetectable and never having to go on Medication. That is written in the stars and if I quit smoking.

Which brings me to my next point: I'm quitting smoking. After this last pack. When he told me I had four left in my pack. And I thought, "What a bum deal? I'll buy one more pack and then I'll do it." I know I should be all like, "Let's start now!" Forgive me, but allow me one more pack before I say goodbye for good.

In short, I'm Typhoid Mary.

Lastly, and I will not put a big stress on it until it really happens, but an internship I applied for setup and interview with me for Tuesday. I'm going to discuss it anymore. Perhaps this is the "good" thing that could possibly be happening to me? Perhaps is the keyword. If not, I'll know that my life isn't ready to be good yet. It's nice to have a little hope. Don't wish me luck, don't offer prayers. Well you can, just don't tell me about it until AFTER I give any good news.