Sunday in my Mind

It's Sunday, I'm feeling much healthier this morning. My night sweats are proving legendary. I wake up halfway through the night and feel the coolness on my next and body. This is another new sensation I have never felt before. There are no hurried dreams to accompany these sweats. No nightmarish images in my mind when I wake. I simply wake because I am chilled by my own expulsion of fluids.

Upon feeling better this morning. Fire Island was an even more terrific experience (notice I don't say play) than I gave it credit for last night. And while we're on the subject, lets discuss Glory Days the musical written by two 23-year-olds about four 20-year olds!

I'll be the first to admit this twisting I feel in my body is caused by jealousy. That these two guys are really cool and nice in person. That the show just comes off as an awful idea in theory. All these probably true notions aside...

I think this show sounds utterly awful, literally. I just finished listening to some of the songs on myspace and my eardrums ruptured. I also find the mounting of this show incredibly arrogant. My one friend pointed out someone is blowing someone in this little deal.

The fact that this kid believes that his freshman year of college was so life changing and these four friends reunite and learn they're ALL not the same person. Even if it's based on "true events" the storyline points out so many inconsistencies and annoyances. For example, if these four friends were really good friends...were they not E-MAILING each other. These events happened four years ago, there was the internet. Sure you couldn't relay the whole emotional event through IM, but you could say, "Just came out...totally a fag now! Just a heads up so when summer comes it won't be weird."

Another friend of mine put it best when he said, "Everyone feels that in their freshman year of college, but no one WRITES about it." But these two guys did. These two guys did.

Unless between the four of these guys combined they come back from college and all of the following has happened:

One is a homosexual, drug addicted, tranny, escort, homeless, HIV positive, has a dead wife and kids who are hunting him out, dropped out of college, rejoined but under the seminary and has a scat fetish he imposes on the others.

Unless that happens, I will not be emotional moved in the least. However, if that has happened. Then I will eat crow.

Lastly, and this is a hoot for all three of you who've been with me for a while...

The Gentleman Caller has contacted me!

I'll admit it was partially of my doing. I sent out a mass email to all those who STILL HAVEN'T DONATED to the AIDSwalk. I basically addressed it to everyone in my address book.

He served:

I hope you have been doing well these last several months. I don't read your blog anymore but I see you online and your gmail "status" is always interesting (China, etc...). I have been doing pretty well. I got a job back at my old firm, _______, in research and started on March 31st. There's a lot to learn but I needed a challenge again.

Funny enough, I received a notice for "gift renewal" from The New Yorker for your subscription, which reminded me how you've been in your apartment for nearly a year now, which is just crazy. Are you still liking it? I hope you are -- it's such a nice area.

I know that I was a bit of a jerk in October when we stopped talking and there's no need for me to give some lame laundry list of excuses as to why I was acting the way I was then. Suffice it to say, I am sorry for the way I acted.

If you are interested, maybe we could get together for some drinks some time soon. It would be nice to see you (I've actually let my hair grow back out so that it's parted and I also have a beard now...). I'm available pretty much every night next week.

I respond:

You must allow me to be a little spacey, which I know I've always been, in trying to pretend I'm all cool and calm with the sudden email. I'm not mad or upset, just surprised. You blocked me from communicating with you in the main way, which was G-Chat and as ridiculous as that may sound. It's actually a normal form of communication. So I just assumed that I would never heard from you again.

I was pissed off at how you were acting towards me after the trip. I couldn't honestly believe that you forgot about my in these concert tickets when you'd discussed it with me several times before that. Anyway, I appreciate that you're apologizing, when you tell me in person I'll consider it worthy of accepting. Sorry if I'm coming off sounding angry, but to be truthful I am peeved.

That all aside, I would like to meet soon. I have to talk with you about life and how you've been despite my anger and frustration at life. I know I am a creature capable of forgiving and moving on. Plus I'm much more of a stoner than I was before, so most often I'm very calm, but always alert!

I'm just warning you ahead of time, I could cry when we meet. I won't probably since I've called it out ahead of time. I have spring break this coming week so I'm busy Mon-Wed working my 2-10 shift. Thursday or Friday could work, but it wouldn't be enough time I'd like. So I will need a few moments to figure out when exactly. What about your weekends? My new phone number is ________. I'm all Brooklyn now, with my area code. Don't call me until I see you first, just leave it to texts and feel free to G-chat hello I suppose.

Call me a bitch, but that's how I play these days.