Oh great pain in my stomach and back and neck. Oh but nothing has been comparing to the pain in the back of my skull. I wonder sometimes if that's what death will feel like? I walk down the street and stagger, for if I move my head to quickly. The feeling of weighted lead shifts in the back and I am off-balance for a moment.
Life has become a blur of sorts. I find it harder to want to stay focused, I like crossing my eyes and then seeing what turns out in my obscurity. Maybe I'll get an internship, maybe I won't. If so either out come with change the threads of time that await me.
I finished And The Band Played On. I found it amazing, a piece of history many people don't know and will never know. It took until the very end, when Reagan actually started "helping" the situation. That so many gay men could die for four years and just because Rock Hudson gets it, that's why it's the way it is today? How is that possible? Or the closing of the bathhouses, once again the way this whole situation was handled was surreal.
It chills me when I figured out I was 21 days old when AIDS officially became a national issue of importance. Also, upon reading the final page I was left feeling terrified because it didn't continue up to now. Where have all the leaders in the fight gone? When we left them they were dying of AIDS! The last chapter sums is all up when Schlitz just blatantly asks, "Where is the leadership?" That was in 1988.
Next book is: Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. It's one book. I know my grammar, okay.
I saw two experimental shows, and with the recent pain in my head, thought I would die. I didn't need to think so much. God's Ear was annoying to me. I loved the writing at times, but casting pick a lead woman without an obnoxious voice and who preferably knows how to act. I hated that woman. In scenes she wasn't in, I was happy and content. Unfortunately she was in most scenes. Especially the mistress, she hit the nail on the author's proverbial head. Then that damned wife would return.
Charles Mee's Fire Island was terrific. With the pain though I was pulled to my maximum for retaining information. I got free burgers and wine. I got to see this cute little freaky clown man court this awkward girl. I got to see affairs on this magical land of Fire Island come together and fall apart. So much was going on, that I felt myself alienating my mind from sensory overload. I loved it.
Why do Kashi TLC crackers taste so fucking good?
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