This is no longer about him. He is dead, there will never been a mention of him again as long as I can help it. Well after this post that is. He's no longer worth worry or my time in general.
I punched myself in the heart until I was bruised. I needed physical pain to counteract the emotional. I completely destroyed the Red Umbrella until there was nothing left. And I wrote a nasty email reply to him, but deleted it realizing you aren't going to let him hit you while you're down again.
I then put on Judy Garland and listened to her until she helped me realize that it's okay to feel hatred towards someone who once made you feel so good.
People aren't perfect, he isn't perfect. And though he pretends that he wants to be there for you, you don't need to take that. You have everything under control. I hate him. Perhaps someday I won't hate him, but he has to do more than what he is doing now to change anything.
And in my hate for him I am showing that I am not perfect. Yet, I am content in that.
So this final post is to you ADRIAN...
I'd like to believe that this is my theme song and I would perform this the same way Judy does...
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