The World Is Waiting

Today is my final day as a Financial Printer. And if the future is in my favor, I will never be a financial printer ever again. This is monumental in the fact that it has been the longest job I've had consecutively. I have spent two years at this job. On Tuesday, I will be starting my internship. How utterly strange. This is a good sign of things to come, I am sure of it.

Now a scene with my friends:

(ACME Restaurant on the East Side. A group has gathered to celebrate ERIC's birthday party where he has told everyone that Hurricanes are $5. Half of the group of people are drunk, while the other half are sober and wondering how many Hurricanes can one group order.)

IGUANA: (To sober friend) I think I'll just drop my money on the table and run-- (WAITRESS walks up to table)

WAITRESS: Hey, can I ask you a question? Who at the table told you guys that Hurricanes were $5 each?

IGUANA: Oh Jesus! The birthday boy told us all, that's why we came here on a Thursday. How much are they normally?

WAITRESS: Unfortunately that's not true. It's only true at the bar and they're $8.

(IGUANA pauses. Then pauses some more, finally takes another pause. Finally he speaks.)

IGUANA: Well, I suppose we'll take our bill then. I can relay the bad news to the birthday boy and everyone else. So you won't have to incur the wrath.

WAITRESS: Well I talked to my manager and he's gonna give you guys like $30 off the bill. It's better than nothing!

IGUANA: How many Hurricanes did we order?

WAITRESS: 34...

(IGUANA does the math in his head.)

IGUANA: Get the damn check! I suggest getting out of here because a real storm is brewing...