The Story of the Red Umbrella

The last few days have been upsetting to my emotional state. I am doing what I do best, which is holding up those barriers that get shakier every month. I mean come on people! Each month has posed a new little stress on this wall. And while the barrier can withstand one or two, it can't take a barrage of them! I know it's all relative and it's all on varying degrees. You have the long-term issues. Then you have the short term issues. The story of the Red Umbrella is a mixture of the two.

The red umbrella is the only physical item I have of The Tall Man's. And it's sat in my room for several months since he first let me borrow is on a rainy day. After the beginning of the end I tried to ignore using it. It's strange how physical objects that really are just that, physical. Can be charged with emotional sentiment. I walked in the rain most days after this all happened, I didn't want to give my body reason to gasp and tear up. A little fall of rain won't hurt me now.

Then came the day when it rained so hard that I had no choice but to use it. I'd open it and as if I'd opened a box of mementos I'd become prone to thoughts I don't wish to happen. Yet, in the rain I admired it's way of keeping me completely dry. Talk about metaphors.

So onto the short-term issues. Some people call college the most informative years of your life. I disagree. College has caused me angst, financial nervousness, insomnia and stress. And now it's adding onto that with registration for next year. I don't want to go into issues, but the officials are being rather difficult. In ways they shouldn't necessarily be.

Since I have my past stories of trouble with college authority, I have these moments where I'm like, "Fuck it, I'm done!" I call my mother and scream to her. Not at her, that's very important to take note of. I merely say it to hear it so I can let it mill about in my mind. Then I can remember that it's pointless to stop now because I'll have the rest of my LONG LIFE to not be in college.

I am keeping myself pretty put together these days, but I have moments. Of pure mental release (a break if you will) and I had one yesterday. So after the frustration of registering and that distant thought of going to college for 6 years. I was walking home muttering swears and phrases of anger to no one in particular. I was giving life as it really is free to anyone's ears. I was carrying the red umbrella on a muggy overcast day. Oh and it felt heavy in my hands at that moment, so heavy indeed.

What is this? The third month of these upsetting news items. One after the next. That's all I could think in my head. In this exact moment all three of these issues in my life were together. The tainted liquid in my veins, the registration book in my bag and the umbrella I was holding...

And without warning I just started shouting and slamming the umbrella against a streetlight.

Slamming. Swinging. Shouting. Screaming.

If there was an ending to this story, I'd write it. There is not.