Back Home in Four Parts

(IGUANA enters a small barber shop called Tom's he is followed in by his incredibly short and bold MOTHER. She is a woman who has dealt with life and unlike her child, her eccentricities are inherent and she is totally unaware of them. In one of the barber chairs sits a new girl. Her hair is frosted so badly it looks like it was done on purpose. Her name is MELODY.)

MOTHER: Good we'll just let Susan cut your hair so you stop looking...like a...woman!

IGUANA: Mom! Don't say that!

MOTHER: Why? On one side you look like a boy and on the other side you look like a girl.

IGUANA: (Rather hurt from these comments.) Well, I just thought the same thing at times and I didn't know it was apparent.

MOTHER: So I'm saying it out loud, it was still true before. Susan can fix it!

(SUSAN enters from outside. She is a suburban lady through and through and a mother of three. Her world is this shop.)

SUSAN: Sit down in the chair honey.

IGUANA: So, I need to fix it. Can you do that? (Sits down in the barber chair and MOTHER takes a seat to the side.)

SUSAN: Baby, I can't even tell what you did to it in the first place? You know, do you want to even out the sides? (Matter-o-fact) One side is longer. Also, you have this thing going on in the back that I definitely need to take care of.

IGUANA: It's okay, just do what you do. If it gets messy I will just buzz it and start anew.

SUSAN: OH NO! I would never want to buzz this beautiful hair.

MELODY: We used to have his hair style in the 80s.

MOTHER: Oh, I know. You know it's what that group. Flock of Seagulls used to have! Don't you think?

SUSAN: Let's see...(She starts to cut.)

MOTHER: Don't you think? The Flock of Seagulls! Remember them?

SUSAN: (Nodding and half listening.) Yes, very much. (Continues to cut.) How much do you pay in the city?

IGUANA: I don't. My friend does it for free, but he got busy and I haven't cut it. He lives down the street from my in Brooklyn.

MOTHER: Flock of seagulls!

SUSAN: I can tell.

MELODY: They say that the city is four years ahead of us. (Susan eyes her skeptically.)

IGUANA: Oh that's great! A big goal here is to find Katherine Hepburn movies. (MELODY's eyes glaze over.) Well, I've looked all over the city and can't find any. So I figured that if I went upstate...I would find some...(Sees he's lost interest.) Since I...remember seeing Katherine Hepburn movies in the city four years ago.

MOTHER: Doesn't anyone remember the Flock of Seagulls?

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